Death Cafe write-ups

Death Cafe Dunedin Write up

Posted by welshsh on Oct. 16, 2020, 8:41 p.m.

Four people attended this Death Cafe.One person hadn't been before. The topics we discussed were wide ranging from cot death, death during pregnacy, the Euthenasia Law, prefered method of disposition of remains, writting ones biography for one's children after death  and so on. I find that when the group is small people talk more intimately and describe their personal experiences more. 

Online October Colliers Wood Death Cafe BST- ONLINE via Zoom Write up

Posted by Cecilia H on Oct. 16, 2020, 5:17 a.m.

5 of us from both sides of the Atlantic came together for the October meeting of the CWDC.  Whilst we had all attended Death Cafes previously, we were pleased to welcome a newcomer attending the CWDC for the first time!
Themes to emerge from our discussion:
Our discussion began with some reflections about our experiences of living alongside the pandemic, and current our relationships with fear and safety as we navigate our lives affected in different ways by Covid-19.
Someone made reference to having engaged the services of a death doula, and shared their hope to die with the support of hospice care.
This prompted a discussion about ...

Online BST September meeting of the Colliers Wood Death Cafe - ONLINE via Zoom Write up

Posted by Cecilia H on Oct. 16, 2020, 4:24 a.m.

Our Zoom meeting in September was attended by 7 of us including myself.  Several of our group were attending their first Death Cafe and we began our meeting by introducing ourselves and our reasons for coming along.  
Themes to emerge from our discussion:
Between us we acknowledged the meaning and value in being close to people who are dying, or staying connected to the themes of death and dying in a society which works so hard at keeping these subjects at a distance.
We moved on to exploring our experience of the cultural aspects of how death is approached and met, and the rituals that might be employed ...

Online Upminster Death Cafe BST Write up

Posted by MortuaryGem on Oct. 14, 2020, 11:21 a.m.

The event was a calm one with a lot of sharing about personal experiences of elderly relatives being in hospitals, care homes or dying. It was a pleasure to host because it felt like people gained some real insight into others experiences and how that impacted them. Not everyone shared and it was nice to have a largish group with some people just listening in. We covered others topics such as animal death and  COVIDs impact on our thoughts and culture around death. 

'Death Cafe' Tunbridge Wells Online BST Write up

Posted by carmeldunmall on Oct. 14, 2020, 5:35 a.m.

5 of us met on Zoom, the conversation was deep and moving. We were able to communicate on a very real level. 

Ibiza Death Cafe Write up

Posted by Ibiza Death Cafe on Oct. 4, 2020, 6:57 a.m.

Winter is upon us! It seems the island of Ibiza is going to sleep early this year. A death of another kind, a death of a strange and surreal summer. We look forward to the next Ibiza Death Cafe (Tuesday 27th October) where we will celebrate el Dia de los Muertos.

Tucson Online MSTFriendly & Fearless Death Cafe Write up

Posted by TucsonFFDeathCafe on Oct. 2, 2020, 6:23 p.m.

Wrestling with the ever-present dynamic of “doing and being” one person queried, “Why do I always have to be doing something, and what is enough?” Getting to the feeling of “it is enough,” can be a radical relief. For the questioner, the poem, “Theory of Memory,” by Louise Gluck, was illuminating.



“Long, long ago, before I was a tormented artist, afflicted with longing yet
incapable of forming durable attachments, long before this, I was a glorious ruler uniting all of a divided country—so I was told by the fortune-teller who examined my palm. Great things, she said, are ahead of you, or perhaps behind you; it is ...

Tucson Online MST Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe Write up

Posted by TucsonFFDeathCafe on Sept. 28, 2020, 7:39 p.m.

“If I go towards it (death), it’s incredible and informs my life.” “Anticipation is killing me... learning to embrace the whole thing from beginning to end…what I’ve learned, regrets, beauty, and being accountable to my friends. To go beyond who we’ve been, beyond fate.” Once I came up with these three words, “deliberate life completion,” I found freedom. Powerful statements from last week’s Café! Gratitude to all the bright embodied souls who visit our Tucson Café and share stories, struggles, and big life wisdom.



The dying wish is something of legend, of quest, a sacred trust. Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish was ...

Death Cafe Dunedin Write up

Posted by welshsh on Sept. 26, 2020, 11:41 p.m.

I erroneously indicated on Meetup that this Death Cafe was occurring both in person and online. In fact, it was occurring online only. Initially no-one came online, and then after some time, a single person from the USA appeared. We spoke for some time, but he was at work at the time, and so it could not participate fully. We did manage to discuss his distress at having to work from his employer’s home in which her elderly parent lay dying. I subsequently learnt that two people had turned up at the venue at which the Death Cafe is ordinarily held. When it became apparent that I ...

Death Cafe Dunedin Write up

Posted by welshsh on Sept. 26, 2020, 11:39 p.m.

This was our first in person Death Cafe following the COVID-19 lockdown. Given that people were still cautious about gathering in restaurants, there was a good attendance - about nine people. There was cultural diversity within the group and a Chinese person, and two South Americans spoke about their cultural experiences. One of the South Americans described how difficult it was being on the other side of the world when her mother’s health was declining. One participant worked at a funeral home as an embalmer and people found her insights into the workings of a funeral home fascinating.

Death Cafe Dunedin Write up

Posted by welshsh on Sept. 26, 2020, 11:38 p.m.

Shortly prior to this Death Cafe, the local newspaper ran a brief story about the Death Cafe and a podcast I host about death and dying, The Final Curtain. I was concerned that the media profile would result in more than a dozen people attending and it would be unwieldy. So, I took a fellow Death Cafe host’s advice and capped the numbers on Meetup. I need not have done this. Only nine people came and there could have been more comfortably. Two people who have come numerous times before were placed on Meetups wait list. Luckily, I was able to contact one and tell her to ...

Tucson Online MST Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe Write up

Posted by TucsonFFDeathCafe on Sept. 17, 2020, 5:13 p.m.

 “I always come away feeling more alive,” proclaimed a Death Café attendee. Kudos to the Café movement for opening space for the paradox of death and all the wild richness it brings to life!



Reflecting on the fact that her father was a Holocaust victim, one woman spoke of her wish for peace in her own death. As we know only too well with chaotic events, natural disasters, war, violence, pandemics, the possibility for peace in death may escape us. I wonder if spiritual traditions that “practice death” do so not only to affirm life and lessen fear while living, but also simply to have that experience of ...

Online Death Cafe Iowa CST Write up

Posted by DeathCafeIowa on Sept. 16, 2020, 10:45 a.m.

For our September Death Café Iowa we met on Zoom. Buffy Peters and Becca Suvalsky from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. In total there were 7 people in attendance, 2 men and 5 women, and participants ranged in ages and professions. We had individuals join from California, Connecticut, Florida, and Iowa. Several interesting topics were brought forward for discussion.

A few topics included:  

Elliot Dallen article from the Guardian: One member brought an article by a young man who was actively dying from terminal cancer. The author talked about how by not avoiding death he was not avoiding life. Another member mentioned that we need to ...

Death Cafe Hillsborough EST (via Zoom) Write up

Posted by Neidra on Sept. 12, 2020, 4:54 p.m.

Hello everyone, Thank you to those who joined the conversations during the September 9th Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H) Zoom call! Using Zoom has changed our dynamic yet it also allows new people from faraway places to participate; thank you to the three new folx! We are grateful for UMC allowing us to use their Zoom account (versus their “little house” where we normally meet in person). If you have not yet sent a few dollars to say thanks for Wednesday’s get together, here is their website: and mailing address: United Methodist Church, Rev. Rich Greenway, 6407 Union Grove Church Road, Hillsborough, NC 27278. Thank you ...

Tucson Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe Write up

Posted by TucsonFFDeathCafe on Sept. 6, 2020, 5:08 p.m.

 A man was at the hospital with his wife who was nearing her departure. The circumstances of being at a hospital undergoing interventions were distressing and unwanted. The couple had imagined a peaceful passing at home. A nurse asked the man where his family was, and he replied they were all at the hospital. The nurse then said, “Home is where your family is.” This story was shared at a recent Café.



All the more poignant now, as even this – in the era of Covid – is denied. We thank all the hospitals, staff, emergency workers and caregivers for doing all they can to unite loved ones, and in ...

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