Death Cafe write-ups
For our July Death Café Iowa we met via Zoom. Buffy Peters from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. There were three individuals who attended the Death Café this month which made for a small and intimate group.
The topic of death doulas and the controversy of their titles was brought up. Some may say that death doulas should be more appropriately called death companions, because their tasks differ a little bit from what birth doulas do. In a birth there is a midwife and possibly a doula, but in death there is not someone there necessarily to help you die- so what does that leave the ...
A Death Café was held in the learning commons on the evening on May 24th. 13 students, teachers, and community members gathered to talk about death while drinking tea and eating sweets. This was the first of a series of Death Café events which will be held throughout the coming years. It was a calm, relaxed place for people to come and talk openly about death.
Plans had been made to begin holding Death Cafés starting in 2020, but due to the global pandemic, it was delayed. This Death Café took place taking care to follow corona virus preventative measures.
This first café went well. Participants ...
13 May 2021 - Small group of 5 interesting women spanning a variety of ages, backgrounds and life experiences. We shared our experiences about
- that the experience of dying can be “a beautiful thing”; and the value of ‘holding space’; ‘being present’ and also sharing laughter along the way . All this as long as it is ‘legal, safe, sane and consensual)
- a discussion around unexpected deaths – and a myriad of emotions attached with this ranging from quality of life – if we could choose to die suddenly then wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing? To the impact of unexpected deaths on the living – how we interpret sudden deaths (positive ...
For our June Death Café Iowa we met via Zoom. Buffy Peters from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. There were three individuals who attended the Death Café this month which made for a small and intimate group.
The topic of how the pandemic influenced death and grieving was talked about significantly within the group. Between sub-topics of interrupted rituals, impact on children, “shadow loss” for the whole world, and even focusing our attention on what is important. Postponed grief also worked into the mix and the group mentioned how important rituals are in grief.
The medicalization of death and dying was brought up by a participant ...
At this Covid-influenced ZOOM Death Cafe, 15 people from around the country dropped by to experience one of our more conversational monthly virtual Death Cafes.
The participants explored, questioned, shared and sometimes laughed as they easily and warmly welcomed meeting one another openly.
There was genuine acceptance of the sentiments voiced.
While we discussed the possibility of returning to the "face-to-face, sit around the tables" Death Cafe of pre-COVID times, most agreed the ZOOM format is a comfortable one and one that introduces people from a wider geographic area (past ZOOM Death Cafes have seen visitors from Canada, Australia and Europe, as well as other states).
8 of us met on zoom from USA, Canda and the Uk.
The discussion was around grief, the openness of the group was touching and the conversation deep.
Please find this Death Cafe fully online at:
For our May Death Café Iowa we met via Zoom. Buffy Peters from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. There were three individuals who attended the Death Café this month which made for a small and intimate group.
The topic of one’s awareness around death was brought up. Pre-planning and the act of smart funeral planning is important for family members. Death Doolas can be part of the pre-planning for death. Some individuals do not want family members to be around them if they are sick and dying, which is where a Death Doula would step in and be that support system for the individual.
Swedish death cleaning. Just one of the topics that came out of my first virtual Death Café. Well never mind the virtual, my first Death
Café. It was planned to be a North East London gathering hosted by myself and Debbie, who is Death Café-experienced, but ended up
being a gloriously global affair with participants from yes, north-east London, but also Scotland, Ireland and Canada. Back to the death
cleaning or death decluttering. The idea behind it is to release the burden of your things from the loved ones you leave behind. ‘It’s a
loving thing to do for the people you care about.’ There was ...
April 2021 - Another energetic, enthusiastic, curious international group some who have attended my DC before and others new. They openly shared their experiences, questions and were so authentic in opening up about the topic many are 'scared' or adverse to talk about...death...dying. It was a wonderful one and a half hours . We shared information and stories about
- "being present' that dying and death is not all terrible, it can be profoundly beautiful ("the beautiful and terrible")
- demystifying death and dying and normalising it
- conversation starter tools
- that a life-limiting condition can give us an opportunity to discuss and plan our wishes, our funerals and better prepare ...
March 2021 - Another international group of wonderful people who shared their experiences so openly. I am always inspired to facilitate these events because we all share and learn so much! At this event look at what we covered in 1.5 hrs!!!!! Amazing !!!
Afterlife Discussions (YouTube)
Netflix - Surviving Death
What happens after we die (Sarah Kerr)
TED talk - I see dead people : dreams and visions of the dying
Atul Gawande's book and video Being Mortel
The Little Soul in the Sun
Dancing in the Dark book
The Nurmber one queston about the afterlife and reincarnation - Suzanne Giesemann
COVID-19 and rejoicing when people's health turns positive
Feb 2021 - Small international group but always interesting people attending this Death Cafe ... some of the topics discussed
related to conversation starters to engage those we love in having these important conversations. And thinking of
them as "important" conversations rather than labelling them "difficult conversations".
We spoke of funeral rituals and their importance and a funky bluetooth item called ModURN; mentioning The Kindnes
Pandemic on Facebook - engaging in positive stories; sharing with families about what is important with a special
mention of Christmas time and how to have the Xmas you always wanted; and sharing fondest memories (the 'gifts'
of love) and how one lovely lady had young ...
8 of us met for a discussion that included someone considering suicide, the group were open to this conversation. We also discussed, dying at home and how this could effect our loved ones, dying in hospital and transportion of deceased loved ones back home following death.
For our April Death Café Iowa we met via Zoom. Buffy Peters from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. There were 7 individuals who attended the Death Café this month.
The first topic we came across was the idea of do I really know what I want towards my own death? A participant had shared that they had a near death experience that made them question if they really wanted what they had planned for their end-of-life care. This individual had asked for a Do Not Resuscitate order (DNR), but when the time came, was asking themselves if that’s what they really wanted. The conversation turned ...
I wish I could have attended, but no access to the public.