A message from Donna Molloy, Jon Underwood’s wife
Posted by
Jools Barsky
As you all know the objective of Death Cafe is helping us all 'make the most of our finite lives'. With shocking poignancy on Sunday 25th June we experienced the finiteness of life at its most brutal. And more specifically the finiteness of the life of Jon Underwood, founder of Death Cafe, dad to two truly amazing children and my husband. He was 44.
Comfort is very hard to find right now, but there is some in the fact that, through his work helping people come to terms with the idea of death, Jon was uniquely and unusually aware that life is short and appreciated his life fully, reflecting on this through daily practice. 'Life is good Donna' he would remind me regularly when I got lost in the challenges of the minutiae. I do this all the time, but Jon didn't. He lived every day reflecting very consciously on the fact that none of us know how long we have and focussed completely on being present in, and making the most of every minute. We all know this on some level, and try and act accordingly, but it's so easy to forget. Easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and get caught up in the minor detail. He pulled off that challenge so many of us can only aspire to, of truly appreciating what we have. This was how he lived his life and through his work he helped so many others to live this way too.
Myself, his children Frank and Gina, his mum Sue, sister Jools, brother Matt, step-dad Alistair, dad Mike, and so, so many others have learnt so much from him. Right now our loss is just breathtakingly appalling, but we can still see how lucky we were to have had him in our lives for the time that we did. We will all miss him so so terribly, and our lives will be so much poorer, but we are so proud of him. As his Buddhist teacher and friend Geshe Tashi said at his bedside yesterday, 'he was a great man'. He really was. I wish I'd told him this when he was here rather than wasting time hassling him about the washing up. His strong moral compass and determination to to live well and do good with his life was an absolute inspiration to everyone who knew him. Through his life he helped tens of thousands of people all over the world to regularly come together, drink tea, eat delicious cake, and take time out to remember what really matters. I don't think it's an over statement to say he has single handedly started to change cultures around death and end of life awareness, not just in the UK, but across the globe.
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Comments
community deathcare educator
I'm so terribly sorry to hear about the death of Jon Underwood; a hero in the movement to reclaim community deathcare. He seemed a warm and wonderful man. May he be remembered well, often and fondly by his friends and family. With gratitude and sorrow, Cassandra Yonder
Posted by cassandra yonder
I am shocked and terribly sad to hear about Jon's death. We met a couple times at a Death Cafe after the sudden death of my daughter and he inspired and supported me by emails and phone to hold a death cafe in Hemel Hempstead and Leeds. He was such a warm, gentle and great man with a vision and action which inspired and moved many thousands of people to embrace death in life. My thoughts and love goes out to his wife and family in particular to his mother, as I know what it is to lose a child too early and so suddenly. Wishing you all love, light and strength. Catherina
Posted by Catherina Petit-van Hoey
You continue
Dear Jon and all those who have been inspired by him,
You live on because you've left a legacy and a set of timeless ideas about the facticity of our human condition that I shall never forget.
Jack
Posted by Jack Fong
There are no words that will make things better. My father died on the 7th and you go through a whole barrage of emotions. Love the people around you, take support from all those around you. Love to you all.
I had the privilege to interview Jon last year for my dissertation project to understand how the Death Cafe impacted on people's lives. He took time out of his schedule to talk to me, and it was a pleasure TKUD to talk to him about his life and how the Death Cafe came about and what it meant to him.
Posted by Alex Pinto
I have found the death Cafe's I have attended in Toronto very meaningful. The words from the family are very inspirational.
Posted by Rick Ross
As a family friend I met Jon both socially and by experiencing a small Death Cafe with him and his mother Susan.
His quiet but strong presence stayed with me.
I'm glad to have known him, his pioneering work, and in my small way will stay committed to this work.
I send my love to all his family.
Posted by JEANETTE GOLDSTONE
Jon was such a gentle & quiet man who leaves a very loud shout echoing throughout the world. I miss him, he has changed my death. I can't imagine how you the family are feeling but my sympathies are with you all.
Posted by Paula Rainey Crofts
Mrs
So sad and shocked to hear this news. We are planning our first Death Cafe in September. We will be thinking about Jon and thanking him for starting such a good thing. Every good thought and wish go to his family and friends.
Posted by Julia Hodierne
Jon was such a gentle & quiet man who leaves a very loud shout echoing throughout the world. I miss him, he has changed my death. I can't imagine how you the family are feeling but my sympathies are with you all.
Posted by Paula Rainey Crofts
Soul Midwives
We are all saddened beyond words to hear that Jon has died. He was a gentle, kind and clever visionary...he leaves a great legacy and we will all help to keep his work growing...he will not be forgotten, Felicity Warner-founder of Soul Midwives
Posted by Felicity Warner
Jon was such a gentle & quiet man who leaves a very loud shout echoing throughout the world. I miss him, he has changed my death. I can't imagine how you the family are feeling but my sympathies are with you all.
Posted by Paula Rainey Crofts
Death Cafe Santa Barbara
My heart breaks for Jon's family. He inspired Death Cafe Santa Barbara which has been going strong for over 4 years. We mention his name at every gathering and will continue to do so. He was always supportive when we had questions. He had a vision and it continues to spread good in this world. Sending all our love from Santa Barbara.
Posted by Lynn Holzman
Death Cafe Oakland
I am so sad, and I celebrate Jon's life and death. Please let us know if there is to be a memorial service of some sort. I would love to attend.
Bill Palmer
Posted by Bill Palmer
Death Cafe Philadelphia & Thought-Sparring Associate
I was shocked to learn of the death of Jon and my heart goes out to his wife and family as they mourn the loss of a great man, a pioneer, and inspiration to me and the many other founders of Death Cafes worldwide.
I remember when I started my first website, I'm Sorry to Hear and thought-sparred with Jon about his similar UK site- Funeral Advisor.org.
How 2 people across the ocean, in different cultures could share in near identical desires for change and transparency in the cloaked Death Care industry dumbfounded me. That sentiment only continued as I learned about Death Cafe and was inspired to start one in Philadelphia.
Though, I only had the pleasure of speaking with Jon a couple of times, the impact that he made on my life and the lives of Americans once afraid of talking about death is undeniable.
I will forever appreciate the courage and zeal Jon had in bringing this important conversation to the forefront of our societies.
I've created a permanent Online Memorial for Jon at Funerals360 (our new planning website). Anyone is welcome to share thoughts and memories there as well. Please forgive me that I don't have his true DOB.
https://www.funerals360.com/online-memorial/15-jon-underwood-pioneer-of-death-cafe/
To his wife, Donna, and the Underwood family, please accept my deepest condolences on your loss.
( If you would like to maintain his Online Memorial, I will transfer it to you for safekeeping.)
Posted by Rachel
Certified Executive Leadership Coach
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family during this sad time of deep loss. I only him through my Community Lake County Death Cafe and will forever appreciate what he has inspired in our fierce leader, Gloria Savannah Austin who started the movement in Eustis, FL. God bless.
Posted by Anita Torres
Thank You
It was a shock to read of Jon's death. His work has inspired me since I first learned of it in 2013. My condolences to his friends and family.
Thank you,
Justin Magnuson
Death Cafe Louisville
Posted by Justin Magnuson
Thanadoula and community death care practitioner
Deep sorrow and sadness to hear of this news. Jon was instrumental in bringing conversations about dying and death out into the public. Wanting conversations to be centered around participants experiences, fears and beliefs. Such a gift for many. My heartfelt condolences to Jon's family. He will be remembered.
Posted by Barb Phillips
D C host and EOL Doula
Dearest family, please know that Jon truly made a difference in my life and the lives of countless others around the world. What an exemplary leader! When he started this movement he selflessly set it up to be beneficial to all of us. He felt very strongly about the social franchise model. Another person might have put personal gain first. What a dear man!
I will never forget the help and counsel when I first talked with Jon in the fall of 2012. He guided the establishment of the Ann Arbor (MI, USA) Death Cafe, which first met in November that year and has been meeting monthly ever since. Each time I had a question he was quick to respond. Thank you for all you have done, Jon. You will be so missed. Bless you all.
Posted by Merilynne Rush
Death Doula
Jon was very helpful as I was starting up the first Death Cafe here in Edmonton. He was very personable and seemed quite humble. He really was a change maker in helping lift the silence on death and dying. Prayers and love to him and his family, friends and extended family.
Posted by Rayne Johnson
A Soul Midwife
I'm sorry to say that I never got the chance to meet Jon, but he was an inspiration to a lot of people. His vision changed the way we approach death; no longer tippy toeing around it, but looking it straight in the eye as we sip our tea and eat biscuits! Thank you Jon.
Posted by Melissa White
Death Over Dinner
Donna, Jon was, and will continue to be, an inspiration to us.
He leaves an amazing legacy.
We are devastated for your loss. Here's to making the most of our finite lives.
Rebecca
Posted by Rebecca Bartel
Jon was such a kind, gentle person yet he inspired and brought about a movement. So sad to hear of his death. My thoughts are with all who knew him and miss him.
Posted by Andrew Grey
I am honoured and privileged to have met Jon and your beautiful family. He was an inspirational, articulate and all round good person. His children are a credit to him and to you Donna & he will live on in your memories. I can't imagine the pain and hurt you are all feeling and am thinking of you all. Jools admired Jon such a tremendous amount and he enriched her life and for that i am so grateful. Sending so much love to you all xxx
Posted by Katherine Bardsley
counsellor and host for difficult conversations
Thank you donna for letting the world community share your grief. Jon was personable, kind, visionary and humble. Your accolades about him 'changing the culture about death conversations' is so fitting. We will raise his name in song with my comfort choir, 'Singing You Home'. Peace and Comfort be with you when the shock and horror subside.
Posted by Dianne in Winnipeg
Death Cafe - Fremantle facilitator of over 4 years, counsellor and behavioural scientist
Given I have been facilitating death positive conversations for a few years now, I am surprised at how deeply I am devastated about Jon's death. It comes as a huge shock and I am so sad that his time with the world is done.
And hey, what a legacy to leave behind though, right?! I am so grateful that I found Jon and the Death Cafe at a time to watch the movement grow the way it has, affecting so many people all over the world. Those who have embraced death positive conversations will forever be touched by Jon and his work, myself included.
To Jon's family, I wish you the solace Jon might have wanted for you in your grief. There are never the words to truly express such a death as this, but know that you are all in my thoughts and heart. I will ensure we pay tribute to Jon at this weekends Death Cafe in Fremantle, Western Australia.
With my heart full of gratitude and grief, Ava Reyerson
Posted by Ava Reyerson
Jon was my inspiration to continue my interest in Death and have yesterday held my 5th Death Cafe in the past 12 months. Great people talking together over tea/coffee and cake.
I will continue to do this and hold Jon in esteem as he deserves He has left a legacy as I hope I will.
Blessings
Posted by annie
Founder, Natural Burial Company
My mind stills, seeking words that connect the kindred at heart that are all moved by Jon's unexpectedly quick transition to non-physical.
One product of Death Cafes - a profound connection structure that has stimulated important discussion around the world about a topic grown taboo through misunderstanding - is the emergence of "words to say" and "words not to say" for times like these; challenging times, trying times, culturally different times the beg to come together on this fundamental experience that we all share, eventually, despite our beliefs.
My belief system says that Jon is still here, more present than ever, his passion enlivening all that share the thread, and his capacity to be everywhere much better than it was before.
Sharing belief systems at these times is a grey area - some find it comforting and some do not, and it's often found in the "words to not say" camp - but at the base of Death Cafes as I understand them, sharing the exploration of belief - and honoring the arising of beliefs that don't fit one's norms - was at the core of DC philosophy and practice.
Thank you so much for sharing this time and for being open to others' thoughts, and blessings to you all as you find the next steps in front of you. My belief system says they will all be the right ones.
Cynthia Beal, USA
Posted by Cynthia Beal
I became acquainted with Jon and Death Cafe some time in 2011. Lovely man with such important work to do. I will miss him. Thank you for all you did Jon. And thanks to your family for keeping your work going.
Written with much love and sadness, Sherry
Posted by Sherry Gilles
My heart goes out to his family and all those who love Jon.
Jon, you will continue in all those around the world who hold Death Cafe's.
May you rest in peace.
I am so sad writing this. And I feel so blessed to have encountered his work.
Daniela
Posted by Daniela Myozen
Saddened to hear of Jon's death but so grateful for what he gave to the world. Death Cafe has been a beautiful gift and legacy. Much love to him and his family.
Daniel Kronenberg
Salisbury Death Cafe Facilitator.
Posted by Daniel Kronenberg
His legacy lives on
His work and contribution personally helped me to deal with death though someone he inspired to run Death Cafe.
He may have been with us for a small number of years but his impact is huge.
Posted by Suzanna
Sending all my love to you and your family. Jon will be greatly missed.
Posted by Claudia Crobatia
ai yi yi and yikes
as always, its those left behind who bear the burden. Clear pathways and fair winds to all those he leaves behind (temporarily).
Posted by alan and sala in Woods Hole MA
Sending deepest sympathy to Jon's loved ones from Austria as well.
People often thank me for starting a Death Cafe here in Linz, but I always tell them no, Jon Underwood is the person to thank. He will be remembered, the work he started will be continued - but I know that cannot take away the pain of living with the loss of him that those close to him must face now.
Please know that he will be remembered with gratitude by people around the world, even those who never had the pleasure of meeting him in person. He has indeed made a difference in the lives of so many.
Posted by Aileen
This news is very sad... And a great loss. All the best to Donna, the children and other relatives. Many people will continue the work of Jon, with his spirit inside.
Posted by Rob
His work will be remembered for ever.
Posted by Pradeep Kulkarni
Love from Boulder, CO
Sending so much love to you and your family. I am ever so grateful for John and the legacy he created. I, too am a death doula and an advocate and facilitator for conversations on death. I have attended Death Cafés here in Boulder and have started my own group to further the conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your husband with the world. May you find words and arms of comfort and support during this time.
Posted by Misa Terral
my love to all the Family <3
Posted by Ting Ting Shiney
Jon was a lovely colleague and a wonderful human being, grounded and humble, his words always gentle and kind. I left NCPC & Dying matters a long time ago but still passed around information about the death cafes and find me help postcards- because there was selfless goodness in his work. His work has been a legacy and I hope it will continue. I will be happy to help in any way possible. I had offered to help with some of the set up of the permanent death cafe in London, as and when it happened & if it ever materialised, the offer will remain open.
My heart goes out to Jon's family & my prayers are with them.
Anamica
Posted by Anamica
Condolences
My heartfelt condolences to you all during this time . I am so appreciative of the work, Jon crafted into a life affirming message for many all over this earth. His legacy continues to blossom and enrich lives, including my own. With deep appreciation and gratitude,
Sky in Montreal Qc CAN
Posted by Sky Riverhawk
NCPC North West Regional Representative
My condolences to Jon's wife and family at this sad time.
Posted by Julie Gorry
Croydon Death Cafe
We have only just launched our death café in Croydon, South London but felt connected to Jon through his vision from the start.
May his family find comfort in what he has achieved and the strength to continue the Death Café movement.
Posted by caroltrower
I am so sorry to hear this news. I worked with Jon at the NCPC. He was an interesting, unusual and extraordinary colleague - quiet, intelligent, insightful, rightfully angry at injustice, and kind. I always enjoyed speaking to him on his days at work, and the Death Cafe he ran at work once was an interesting experience. He was committed to his work, as well as his wider work place in the world, and his spiritual practice. I recognise his voice in what you wrote Donna: "life is good". Much love and best wishes to Donna, his family and friends.
Posted by Laura Bennett
co-facilitator Death Cafe Potrero Hill (San Francisco, California)
Please accept my sincere sympathy for your tragic loss. My heart goes out to Jon's friends and family. I'm heartened however to learn that his legacy, Death Cafe, will continue. I had sent him a note on 6/21 with a link to a wonderful (short) radio broadcast extolling the importance of this social movement. I hope it brings some solace. http://kalw.org/post/discussing-death-over-dinner
Posted by Jim Van Buskirk
Heartfelt condolences to the entire Death Café community upon learning about Jon's passing. I hold Jon's family and friends in my thoughts and prayers, and wish them all love, light and peace as they move forward from their loss.
I'm fairly new to the Death Café community and blog myself, but not to the death and dying experience. I was a hospice volunteer for just over four years in New Jersey when I lived there, and have been interested in hospice since I was a teenager. I look forward to coming here to learn more about the work Jon started and plans this community has for the future.
Thank you for all the work you have done thus far.
Posted by Jennifer
Thank you
I recently contacted Jon about a new death art initiative. I am very used to getting little or no response so I cannot tell you how amazing it was to get Jon's immediately warm and positive response and support. I am very sad to hear this news.
Posted by Valerie Grove
I celebrate Jons life and accomplishments and mourn the death positive communitys loss. My heartfelt love and condolences to his family.
Posted by Anna
OSHO Sammasati Founder/Director
Through the 'Death Cafes,' John has certainly made a significant contribution internationally to encourage us face to start coping to the reality of our mortality.
Sending you love and joy, Jon. May you recognise the light as your buddha nature! Sammasati!
Posted by Maneesha James
You, his family, and his work will continue making him proud, I am sure. Sorry for your loss.
Posted by Halle Cannon
What a beautiful difference one single life made. My deepest condolences on the death of your beloved. May his spirit live on in your hearts and in the legacy he left.
Posted by Shannon M. Caraccia
Mr. Underwood, you will keep in living in so many lives
Organising Death Cafes in Berlin and Beijing has changed my life. Dear Mr. Underwood, you still actually owe me an answer, whether it is fine to publish the Chinese translated version of the guideline. Thank you for creating this great community, offering a place to people to be sincere to each other. I know that you knew Death Cafe Berlin #12 was going to take place on the 25th of June. We talked about you. It was great.
Posted by Death Cafe Berlin and Beijing
Holistic Therapist & Death Doula
Truly an amazing human being and inspiration to many. This movement he launched.. such a beautiful legacy. Thank you Jon.
Posted by Sylvia Sienikehä Elysiana
Int'l director Celebrant Fdnt + Inst
Our hearts go out to Jon's dear family. We light a virtual candle to remember his LIGHT that shined so bright in our lives. May "his" light shine bright in the lives of us who love him so. JON we miss you, we honor you, you live on through us you do! Our higher spirits are with you on the flip side and we'll do you proud on here and now. Love always and foever - Charlotte Eulette and you 1000 Celebrant family.
Posted by charlotte eulette
My heart goes out to Jon's family and all who knew him. He had such a passion for changing attitudes towards death and his legacy will live on and will continue to help others for many years to come. I met him several times and know that his other passion was his wife and children who he always spoke of dearly. My thoughts are with you now
Posted by Rebekah Reeve-Jones
So very sorry. Met Jon at one of the first Death Cafes at his house. Lovely man. He did a great thing with Death Cafe.
Posted by Susan Walker
We hardly ever saw each other, only met maybe a dozen times, but it was always like just picking up the thread of a conversation each time, like one of us had just gone to make a cup of tea. I am so so sorry. He was such a gentle man, forgiving of everybody else's foolishness and ego. What a loss. What sorrow. May the love that is pouring from so many hearts touch you all just a little bit. Blessings Jon.
Posted by Ru Callender
We will always remember Jon's kindness and patience as we needed his help and encouragement in hosting Death Cafe's in Calgary. Forever grateful for his work.
Posted by Janine Violini and Jamie Whittaker
Jon's legacy lives on
Jon leaves such a powerful legacy. The death cafe movement has grown strong roots and will thrive and grow stronger, due to Jon's inspiration.
Very best wishes to all who knew and loved Jon
Posted by Trevor Moore
Natural Death Centre charity
Such sad, sad news. Such a gentle, kind and wonderful man. A world leading social innovator with Death Cafes. My thoughts are with you all at this devastating time.
Posted by Susan Morris
Sending positive thoughts and energy to you and your family from Niagara Falls, NY.
Jon's idea has spread around the world and has brought peace to many. There is a joy at our Death Cafe, it comes from the simple idea of having like minded individuals get together and discuss death.
Posted by Tim Baxter and Michelle Kratts
Deathcare educator, facilitator and Doula
I'm so very sorry to hear of Jon's sudden death. Sending deepest condolences to his wife, children, family and all who loved him. I am thankful for his meaningful work and the legacy of it he leaves behind. Those of us working in end of life will certainly his legacy on through Death Cafe's and living mindfully each day. Love and Light ❤
Posted by Merri-Lee Agar
My heartfelt condolences to you all. I didn't know Jon but when I did chat over the Internet wth him Jon was always kind. The whole movement he worked so hard to get into the open has lost its captain. Rest easy Jon. That'll do x x x
Posted by Vicki Nation
Arlington Memorial Gardens Cincinnati Ohio
I was so fortunate that in Dec of 2013 I flew to London and was able to meet with Jon concerning the Death Café movement. Such a gracious man to give me his time and knowledge . My heart goes out to his family and friends, bless you all
Cindy
Posted by Cindy Maril
I am genuinely saddened at hearing of Jon's death. Few things in life make one feel so inadequate as trying to find the "right words" after a loss, so please know that you are not alone in your sadness during this time. Jon's contribution to death-positive education and self-empowerment is unparalleled and a lasting legacy that I will forever value and appreciate.
Posted by Chris Raymond
Death Cafe Documentary
When I started going to my first death cafe I couldn't believe the concept. It was incredible and something that helped me meet people and deal with my issues about my father. As a filmmaker I felt really connected to the Deth Cafe and made a short film about the Bristol Death Cafe and it's attendees. Jon helped me enormously with this, guiding me, giving me advice and being a huge support. My film is being screened in Seattle this September and I would like to dedicate it to Jon. He was a wonderful man that has helped me and many. I will never forget him and the Incredible Death Cafe.
Thanks
Phoebe
Posted by Phoebe Holman
chair of NCPC
Jon's death has come as a terrible shock. Few people really manage to change the world we live in - Jon certainly changed it for the better. He helped thousands upon thousands of people face their own mortality, discuss their concerns and, through open conversation, removed taboos. He has empowered us all and his legacy must now be built on by us all. The World has lost a very fine man.
Posted by Baroness Ilora Finlay
I attend the death cafes in Christchurch. Jon was an inspirational man and his death is a very sad loss to the world.
Posted by Ken West
end of life coach/registered nurse
Jon started the largest death cafe movement with Death Cafe's here in Portland Oregon. We have been honoring his way and his life long service in serving our corner of the world. Thank you for all you have done and thank you family for picking up the gauntlet.
Posted by Derianna Mooney
The Cemetery Exchange
Please accept my sincerest condolences on Jon's passing.
Posted by Maureen Walton
founder: Love Your Life to Death
My heart is aching and my tears are flowing. What a beautiful legacy Jon has left in his family and his life-changing and death-changing Death Cafe movement. I've hosted Death Cafes and helping to create a culture of change where we normalize conversations about end of life so we are not scared to death of death is my purpose. Thank you, Jon, for what you have given the world. Sending love to your family! xxxooo
Posted by Yvonne Heath
With love and gratitude...
I am so very sorry to hear the news about Jon's death.
It's hard to put into words the extraordinary impact he had on the lives of so many through his work establishing the Death Cafe movement.
The impact on people's lives of the simple yet profound act of talking about the one thing that unites us all over a cuppa and cake goes beyond language.
From all of us at the Norwich Death our love and thoughts are with you all at this time and in the future as you carry on the vital work that he begun.
Thank-you Jon for your gift to us all. x
Posted by Norwich Death Cafe
So sad to hear this news, what a hero he was and how far his legacy will reach... So honoured to have the opportunity to put our heads together a few years ago, over cups of tea and park visits, making plans for a better death honoured world. We tried to get some funding together to create an online legacy centre, a place for people to plan their wills and funerals, as well as emotionally prepare. We didn't get the funding, sadly. It didn't matter. Our conversataions were more important, a joy, I loved his capacity to be present, living every moment truely. His work of death a cafe is an inspiration and I have no doubt it will go on in multitudes in his memory.
As sad as it must be for his family, I can only be completely confident that they will be so prepared for such a terrible loss.
Posted by Alice
Darul Ummah
Dear Donna,
I'm really sorry and shocked to hear the sad news of Jon's sudden death, something we all have to face in life is for sure.
My sincere condolence to you and your family members.
I have known Jon from my interaction with him through the work he did with the third sector organisation while working at Tower Hamlets Council and later as a colleague. I have found him to be a man of principles, honest genuinely wanting to help others. He was very approachable, thoughtful and meaningful in the course discussions and dealing with others.
I hope the legacy Jon has left behind will service as source of inspiration and a fulfilment that he was man, a colleague and a friend who benefitted others irrespective of their background, religion or colour thats a great achievement.
May he rest in peace.
Kind regards,
Hasan Mueenuddin
Hon Director
Darul Ummah -The House of the Community
Posted by Hasan Mueenuddin
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Posted by kellylu60
Just sending some love and care. It's been a short while now and I know that all too often, folks lessen their support over time.
Thank you - to him, of course, but also to all of you that love him, that keep Death Cafe a "thing" and support this venture. You all are awesome people - love to you. XXOO Karen
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Posted by gladyseg69
Community Educaiton Manager, Mission Hospice & Home Care, and Death Cafe facilitator since 2013...
I know there are no words that can begin to lighten the loss, nor the impact, of Jon's death for his friends and family...it's taken me more than a week to even begin to consider what might be worth saying...
though Jon, it seems, has been preparing for his death for most of his recent life, I can't imagine he considered it coming at 44...
Two weeks ago, just the week before his death, I'd been in touch with Jon about some art work I was trying, unsuccessfully, to post. As always, he responded within a day or two.
I SO regret that I didn't ask him what he was up to, how he was managing all of this...though regrets are not helpful to anyone, it's a reminder that I am never too busy for some human interaction...
I have been honored to host almost 25 Death Cafes over the last 4 years. There is nothing like a Death Cafe, and they bring me the same kind of joy I felt for the 10 years I worked with Stephen & Ondrea Levine, also allowing people to come close to death, consider it in the open, talk about it, reduce their fears while increasing their capacity to understand that by touching on death, we are able to touch life at it's deepest, and most mysterious, place.
I am forever grateful to Jon for this work, and this understanding.
To his wife and two children, thank you SO much for sharing Jon with the world...I can imagine at times this was great and at other times, incredibly inconvenient. Your generosity reverberates around the world in ways great and small.
May you know that Jon's essence lives on in every Death Cafe, though I am sure that is of little confort now, but I do hope going forward, in the months, and years to come that both of his children understand him to be a pioneer, and explorer, of one of life's greatest and most fraught mysteries...and that his courage and insight has allowed many many feebler and fainter souls to also make this journey.
It is absolutely one of the greatest gifts you can offer another human being, this opportunity to begin - in even the samllest of ways, to embrace death, and, ultimately, embrace their own death in a healthy and forthright way, so that we can be as fully alive as is possible...
Blessings to you all, and my deepest condolences for the extreme loss Jon's death has left you all with...
Posted by Susan Barber
One of the co founders of Dongu Gatsal Ling
My condolences to you who have lost this wonderful sentient being who has left this world leaving a huge legacy that will continue to grow. I had been in contact only a month or so before with Jon before this tragic loss, I had worked with JETSUNMA Tenzin Palmo as her Shabjie and financial director for 20 yrs and Jon had expressed his wish to meet now that I am living back in Bath UK. I would have been seaking to meet up with Jon with a hope of offering him support, please get in touch if I can help in anyway.
Posted by edowling
Just giving
I searched for this link...found it to share with others here ....
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/jon-underwood
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Shock to hear such very sad news. I worked with John at Tower Hamlets Council. He could be a challenging personality but I understood his perspective. My sincere condolences to his partner and family. He was a 'good guy' who I will miss.
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I extend my deepest condolences to his family, friends, Death Cafe facilitators , and the thousands who have attended Death Cafes around the world .
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