Death Cafe Practitioners Page


Death Cafe Bristol

Posted by MaryTutaev on March 12, 2019, 9:54 a.m. 4 comments


I'm currently working with a team of N.H.S researchers to see if anyone has had the benefit of Death Cafes evaluated by any outside source .....the relevance and wonderful work of the Death Cafes is being recognised now by many outseide groups and depts......

have any practioners been  contacted ? 

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Acute grief from a recent bereavement

Posted by Chorltondeathcafe on March 6, 2019, 5:39 a.m.


Hi all, I have hosted 14 Death Cafes and recently there have been around 45 people at each one (every 6 - 8 weeks).

At the last one, there were 2 people who came who were (separately) experiencing acute grief from recent bereavements.  Luckily, their table were largely able to hold the space and both of them felt very supported, I later heard - lifechangingly so, they said.  

I checked in with all 6 people after the event, by email (as I picked up that it had been intense)  and three of the others on the table had found it an extraordinarily beneficial evening.  One, however, had struggled and went home worrying about the two.  I've been in touch with her and we are still in conversation. 

I now have just recieved an email from someone who has heeded my advice - always sent out with confirmation of a place, to get in touch with me if they are expreriencing acute grief from a recent bereavement.  

  This woman's dad died suddenly, only 2 months ago.  He was an alcoholic and they had a difficult relationship.  The daughter wasn't told he was ill, but he died 3 weeks after being taken into critical care.

 

I'm just not sure how to reply to the email, as every person in deep grief will be different at the Death Cafe.  

I've so far started an email which includes this:  I’m not a professional grief counsellor at all, but what I can talk about is my experience of the very rare occasions when someone in the depths of acute grief has come to the Death Cafe.  What has tended to happen is one of a few things:

- the grieving person receives a lot of support and care and leaves feeling a lot lighter, having shared and been heard
- or, their group might have a person, or more than one, who feels the need to talk mainly about themselves and their experiences, in which case the grieving person receives some care, but maybe doesn’t feel as supported as they had hoped.
 
I'm tempted to say something about the fact that it could be too hard for some people to sit with another's grief, but then I think that's what people sign up for when they come to a Death Cafe, so do I really need to warn someone in acute grief about others' upset?
 
In my info I do say: You may be holding old grief and this may be stirred during conversations in your group.  

 

Every effort is made to ensure it is a safe space, but it is essentially our community coming together in random groups to talk and to listen.  

There are no staff and no professionals there in their work capacity.

Every group will be different, and, if you come more than once, your experiences will vary.

 

Any thoughts, anyone?  Do you say yes to everyone, even those in the depths of grief?  

What's your experience when such a person is at your Death Cafe? 

 

Thank you for reading all this long piece, Debbie

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Question on venue for death cafe

Posted by Karen on March 5, 2019, 11:43 p.m. 1 comment


Hi, I am dialing in details on my first death cafe-getting so much great information and ideas from here already! I have been offerred space at one of the hospices I volunteer with to hold the cafe at their office (they have a room that's used for meetings and training). They understand there is not sponsorship or agenda with a cafe (and agree with this). It would sure make it easier on me- but I wanted to see what people here thought of that? Would it send the wrong message of sponsorship? Many of the coffee places here get pretty crowded on weekends so I thought it might be a comfortalbe (and quiet) place to talk for now. In the warmer months, I'm definitely leaning towards our open spaces here.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or  advice on that.
If I went ahead with it there, I would share the guide with them (I already relayed the principles behind it , just not verbatim)

 

Thanks! Karen

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Time, organization

Posted by Uwe on Feb. 21, 2019, 5:18 a.m.


Hey, we are planning to host our first Death Café (in Graz, Austria). We did something like that in a more private setting (but still with a big group) and it was great. For a public event we are still wondering:

- Do you have your discussions in a big group or do you split them in smaller groups. In my experience it makes sense to split groups, so there are not more than, say 8 people per group (what do you think is a good number?).

- How do you handle people who are late? We are wondering how strict we should be on punctuality. On the one hand we don't want to exclude people who are (very) late, on the other hand they might disturb ongoing conversations - especially if they have already gotten a little more intimate and personal. I don't know if that ever happens in a public Death Café.

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ClaireER

Posted by ClaireER on Feb. 13, 2019, 6:19 a.m. 1 comment


Hi,

planning to hold death cafes early April. I know I can post details here but is there a poster template I can use to send to relevent people/orgs?

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Ice Breakers

Posted by Beth Maher on Jan. 28, 2019, 7:14 p.m. 1 comment


Ice Breakers

I am hosting my first death cafe this week and would appreciate ideas of how to get a conversation going. I plan to start by reminding the participants that this is not a grief support group.  I thought I would then ask folks what inspired them to come to the cafe and then see where it goes.  Any suggestions  of how to start the conversation from more experienced practitioners?

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Image resources

Posted by Chelsea on Jan. 16, 2019, 5:12 a.m. 1 comment


Hello.  I'm new to Death Cafe and working with two others to set up an event in my area (Winchester, Hampshire, UK).  Just wondered if there are any Death Cafe resources such as stock images available that we can use for posters, social media etc?  Don't want to reinvent the wheel if we don't need to.

Thanks.

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Death Cafe's in HUD Senior housing

Posted by John Painter on Dec. 28, 2018, 9:23 a.m. 1 comment


I have been asking around whether there are any HUD Resident Service Coordinators who have either hosted or sponsored a Death Cafe and have not found any.  I will be holding a Cafe with a small group of residents HUD seniior housing who are clearly eager to talk about death and dying. 

I'm curious if there are any other RSC's out there who have hosted a Death Cafe and your experiences.  I appreciate the broad group of discussion I've already seen on this site, but am curious of others experiences holding a Cafe for HUD low income senior citizens.

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Host Support

Posted by Gemma Norburn on Dec. 5, 2018, 8:11 a.m. 2 comments


Are there any resources or support for hosts in dealing with difficult situations or conversations? 

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Setting up

Posted by TamaraBarnardCastle on Nov. 7, 2018, 1:32 a.m. 2 comments


For a while now i have ben thinking about setting up a death cafe. I think I've found a venue and am looking to begin in the New Year (probably mid-late January or even into February).

Any particular hints/tips/advice? It feels rather daunting.

Thank you

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Bad deaths

Posted by DavidAinslie on Oct. 4, 2018, 3:17 a.m. 4 comments


At a recent death cafe the conversation got onto good and bad deaths. One person recounted coming across a grisly road accident, which disturbed one (possibly more) of the other people. I'd be glad to know how others might handle this sort of situation.

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Bognor Regis Death Cafe

Posted by DavidAinslie on Oct. 1, 2018, 4:18 a.m. 1 comment


I've posted details of an upcoming Death Cafe on October 24th but it doesn't seem to be coming up on the website - but I don't know why and it's not clear to me who to contact about this. The same thing happened with our September Meeting. I presume there is something wrong or incomplete in what I posted, but I have no idea what.

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terminal ill person apt for DC?

Posted by caminantecalero on Aug. 23, 2018, 3:31 p.m. 2 comments


Hello,

Im am soon hosting my first death cafe and while contacting people I met a neighbour that has a terminal illnes, I have not talked to him about the DC yet and I am not sure if this environment could also benefit a terminal patient?

Any points of view regarding this?

 

Thank you

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Student Cafe

Posted by Compassionate Communities High Peak on Aug. 21, 2018, 6:01 a.m. 1 comment


Student Cafe

I'm hosting a cafe at a local further education college and university, for students (with a separate cafe for staff) has anyone done anything similar, and can anyone suggest wording for poster that will grab their attention?

Jane 

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Einstein’s Afterlife Realm

Posted by Quack on Aug. 7, 2018, 11:38 a.m.


Let's say Einstein is about to die, but before he does a 'being', working behind the scenes, transfers Einstein's consciousness to a robot shell which Einstein is quickly able to control. Einstein then makes his way towards a light where he finds a room. There, Einstein realises that having died, and as there is no God, he must have created the robot shell and afterlife room himself.

 

So Einstein gets to work, first discovering how time travel can be accomplished, and then discovering how to create building blocks from nothing. So he travels back 100 years, and by creating building blocks, he builds the afterlife room. He then builds a robot shell from more building blocks and brings it to his death bed, where, behind the scenes, he transfers the dying Einstein's consciousness to the robot shell.

 

 

So a simple afterlife awaits Einstein. Now consider what can be achieved together with all the scientists who have or will die:- the afterlife room will be perfected to become the afterlife realm, and the robot shell will be perfected to become the spirit body.

 
Quack

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