Death Cafe Practitioners Page
Hi, I am planning to run my fisrt Death Cafe and wondering if anyone experiences that conversation was stuck at one point. I am worried there will be uncomfortable silence. Any tips on how to avoid it and bring the discussion back, any specific topics, leading questions? I am aware the guide mentioned- no agenda but 3-4 questiong that might push the conversation, would be useful. Am I correct?
I've recently begun preparations to start a monthly Death Cafe in my area. However, it's my understanding that a few years ago someone has already started a Death Cafe. It's been several years since the last cafe was held and the Facebook page seems to be inactive since 2017/2018. I've made attempts to locate the original hosts, but I've been unsuccessful - I just don't want to step on any toes or create animosity, you know?
Is it acceptable for me to start a cafe, or should I make further attempts to contact the original hosts?
If anyone has any advice or tips regarding this I would be super grateful!
Posted by Debbie & Alberta on May 21, 2021, 8:08 a.m.
Swedish death cleaning. Just one of the topics that came out of my first virtual Death Café. Well never mind the virtual, my first Death Café. It was planned to be a North East London gathering hosted by myself and Debbie, who is Death Café-experienced, but ended up being a gloriously global affair with participants from yes, north-east London, but also Scotland, Ireland and Canada. Back to the death cleaning or death decluttering. The idea behind it is to release the burden of your things from the loved ones you leave behind. ‘It’s a loving thing to do for the people you care about.’ There was some general agreement about this and the story of how the process of down-sizing and letting go of things that belonged to her past and her husband allowed a widow to move on and enjoy her final years. A painful process though, it was admitted. There’s no avoiding that then. Death and grieving is sad and difficult and there’s no getting round it. Another story was shared of how having to deal with the possessions and house left by their parents following their death provided a practical form for grieving. The learning, if there’s any need for it? There is no perfect way to prepare for death, either our own death, or for losing those who we love, but getting together and talking in a safe space about death and dying can be something that helps make sense of it.
The conversation across two groups in their private zoom spaces included talking about fears of dying, sharing experience of family bereavement and how that influenced desires to make things easier for their children, curiosity about talking about death and dying, acknowledging the taboo and facing it full on. Following Death Café guidance there was no agenda or direction so the flow of words went in all sorts of directions from the idea of clearing out rooms and things to funerals with drag queens and disco music. Perhaps the most unexpected aspect of this zigzag of words and sharing was how intimate, warm and lovely it was. Friends have asked, how it was, my first Death Café as host, my first Death Cafe. Lovely, I said. And it was. Life-affirming would be another description.
Hi, we are The Rewikd Project. A grass roots not for profit and we rewild people, not landscapes.
We want to run a Death Cafe as part of our health and wellbeing programme.
We can run for free or donation, like all our other groups. and will advertise on our Facebook group and newsletter.
We are based in the forestnof Dean, we might start off on zoomnans then run from our craft centre in evening time.
Oh also we are doing outreach work at festivals this year and would like to run sessions.
Can you let me know if there is any problem with this?
I have been hosting Death Cafe every 2-3 weeks since 2018. I am also a Death Educator in real life. However, I have been very careful never to mention what I do, nor allow industry people to use DC as a marketing or advice-giving platform. I've also attended a couple of other DC's where it was like a networking event for EOL industry people. Definitely don't want that.
I want to ensure a safe space for open discussion with no expectations of an outcome. But human beings are problem solvers!
My question for you is: where is the line? Do you offer advice and resources in your cafes? Do you allow information sharing and problem solving when pragmatic questions are asked? I do not wish to instruct or educate, but I keep getting asked by my regulars to provide insight, and I am not sure how to proceed. AM I being to rigid in how I am interpereting the rules?
Looking for guidance on the spirit and intent of Death Cafe.
With gratitude, Gina
O movimento death cafe se amplia cada vez mais no Brasil, dada importância desse espaço de acolhimento aberto para a fala e a escuta respeitosa sobre vida e morte.
Estamos em uma linda comunhão entre os diversos death cafes no Brasil.
Gratidão por participar desse importante movimento mundial.
Hello, I'm in a rather sad and odd position with a dear friend in the US (New Mexic) dying from MS. She is quite paralyzed and it's becoming very difficult for her to swallow and the paralyzed Disability is getting worse and worse. she has been approved for assisted diying in Switzerland and very very very much wants to get there. This is of course been complicated with Covid restrictions because they would send a caretaker from Europe to get her in there because she cannot make that trip alone with her disability. Europeans are not allowed into the US, however US citizens are allowed into Switzerland and allowed to return to the US as well. I am looking for any sources of nursing care that she can pay someone to take her to Switzerland and get her through those flights and to her destinations. She may need the nurse to stay for some days while she settles in. Nursing care would not have to stay for the assisted dying event. Do you know of anywhere where I could get anyone that would fit this description that she could pay? They do not have to be an actual nurse but definitely a strong an able-bodied caretaker. She can get herself around she's not completely paralyzed but it will be a very difficult trip for her. Please let me know if you have any insight. Thank you!
Dear Death Cafe Practitioner,
I hope you don't mind me contacting you this way. I wanted to share with you a piece of research I am undertaking in relation to feelings following a bereavement; and ask your help in recruiting interested participants.
My research relates to emotions experienced following a bereavement, in particular positive emotions, such as relief, gratefulness, peace, etc. I have a suspicion that bereaved people sometimes do experience positive emotions, but hide them because they fear that such emotions are wrong in some way, and that society will condemn them.
I hope that by researching this issue, I can shed a bit more light on this phenomenon, and help normalise such experiences for people experiencing bereavement.
I wonder if any of your death cafe contacts or acquaintances might be interested in taking part? I can provide further details and an email poster, if you think they might be interested.
Thank you in anticipation of any help you can provide.
I've been thinking about doing this for a very long time and have decided to go ahead with it!
I just wondered (considering this climate) about how others have been managing with group gatherings because of Covid, if at all?
I will start it on zoom if I need to but I'd much rather have just a small group where I can keep social distancing either at my home or in a local cafe.
I'd welcome your thoughts on it.
Are there any photos that we can download and use without copyright or by referencing the artist / photographer?
Tips for hosting a large Death Cafe on Zoom with breakout rooms
- Everyone booked by email. I was wary of a person attending with whom others might feel unsafe, so when a new person I’d not met before emailed and wanted to book, I engaged them in an email conversation a little first. Asked where they lived, if they’d been to a DC before, what their name was if it wasn’t obvious.
Once they’d chatted on email, then I sent them the link and extra info.
(One person emailed to book, then didn’t reply to my ‘chat’ and disappeared. They hadn’t told ...
I thought this was a "closed" area, but discovered that anything posted on the practitioner page shows up on google searches. I learned this when searching for something Death Cafe related without being logged in. You have to be logged in to post, that's all. Just wanting people to be aware that anything written here is publicly available.
I found a really useful thread after typing in "Death Cafe and suicide conversations". It was good to have Jon's comments & others' views. In my 3 years of hosting I haven't come across this (other than people attending whose relatives or friends had committed suicide).
Yesterday we had a young woman attend who for years has wished to die. She is not ill. She has made detailed plans but is in limbo for various reasons. It
certainly made the group
think about our own
attitudes, beliefs and so on &
we handled it well in the
moment. She probably will
attend again so any
comments most welcome. I
thought about asking her
what she's hoping to get
from the group. What is most useful from us - as facilitators & participants? Obviously something drew her to attend.
As of today (5 April 2020) Zoom has made password and waiting room default settings. Two of my work colleagues have had unfortunate experiences (harrassment, showing porn, general disruption) on Zoom. Follow the instructions on the ADL site for extra security.
The Guardian carried this: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/apr/02/zoom-technology-security-coronavirus-video-conferencing
Happy Zooming and hosting Death Cafes online - be prepared & be safe!
We need to cancel our upcoming Death Cafe. How do I show this.