THE BIG "D"
A write up of Tucson Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe IN PERSON
Why don’t we talk about death? What’s going on, or not going on, with that? Whether you have a tiny spark, a persistent firefly, or a full-blown blaze burning about this topic, you are not alone at a Death Café. Death is going to happen, it’s a sure thing, there is no doubt. Our culture talks about anything else, everything else, but when it comes to death, we dance around it like we’ve landed on a hill of biting ants.
We have a zillion ways to say it, without saying it. We’re toast, toes up, in Davy Jones locker swimming with the fishes. Departed, passed on, gone to catch the bus. Gave up the ghost, lost the battle, joined our ancestors, met our maker. We’re using the earth as our blanket, have become food for worms, and are pushing up daises. We’ve bought the farm, paid the piper, cashed out. We’ve sung our swan song, taken our final bow, and (with or without Elvis) have left the building.
We seem to be doing almost anything, except, please and certainly not, dying and being dead. We get it, that’s totally understandable. But what do these dancing antics do for our real-life ability to deal with the challenging situations of dying and death? Whispering and funny euphemisms are positive short-term survival tactics, but head on with death, may leave us crashing hard into discovering that we could use a little more help.
This questioning can be the very thing that inspire people to attend a Death Café. Death Cafes are open conversation groups. Not counseling or therapy. No leading questions or education. No fixing, helping, or saving. Whew! At a Death Café we can allow ourselves to talk and listen while gently exploring our way in what might be very new territory. Talking about death in all its forms, death of relationship, hopes, dreams, opportunities, the way we thought or wish things were, but aren’t, are just as welcome as sharing about physical death.
Having “stuck our fork in the wall” (Britain), “popped our clogs,” (Danish), or “bought a pine condo,” we may be on our way to the “horizontal Hilton,” the “motel deep six,” or flying to a Pure Land of perfect bliss (China), but we can all convene together for a bit of yummy cake and conversation about it all before then. Whether you are okay with death or really not okay, you’re likely to find good company at a Death Café. You can find global listings online at deathcafe.com for both virtual and in-person in your town.
Thanks to all for the great attendance at our May Cafe. A special mention! We were graced by the presence of a beautiful 4-legged visitor along with her person. They volunteer at Peppi’s house and other facilities bringing joy, comfort and healing. Thank you both for attending our Café and for your lovely service to our community. I hope to see everyone again soon!