April 2024 Shepherdstown WV Death Cafe
A write up of April 2024 Shepherdstown WV Death Cafe
![](/media/cafewriteups/image1_1812.jpg)
Water was brought to a boil, the tea and cake set out as usual, and several of us gathered around the table.
Tracy opened with a brief selection from Joan Halifax of Upaya Center, talking about two paths we choose as we face questions about death - the path of fear, or a path that accepts and explores with curiousity the impermanence of all things. The choice of path then impacts the life we lead.
Discussion continued: knowing that "the mug is already broken", how do we face death, how do we live our lives? With tenderness, softness, a delicate touch, hope . . . it was a rich conversation.
Introductions around the table raised questions and stories of near-death experiences, and how that has impacted the way each person is living their life now.
Another topic arose, that of facing a serious diagnosis, and choosing to forego treatment to prolong life. What impact does that have on you? What impact on the family? How do we talk about it in a way that acknowledges how hard the choice is for others to bear, but honors and creates space for the choice one has made?
Another discussion was around working with families and individuals at the end of life: how do you maintain your own emotional equilibrium at such fraught moments? One attendee made a profound connection to the birth work of Frederick Leboyer (which she had experienced). End-of-life workers will often surround a dying person with soothing sounds, dim lights, quiet conversation: essentially re-creating the "Birth without Violence" Leboyer espoused, but at the end of life.
Finally, some kind person left a book at the Library addressed to Tracy: "Other People's Words: Friendship, Loss, and the Conversations that Never End" by Lissa Soep. If that was you, thank you!
The session concluded with words from Kahllil Gibran's poem "Fear".