Virtual Death Cafe by the Bay_July 2021
A write up of Online Death Cafe ~ by the bay Brisbane
By Jacqui
8 July 2021 - small group of 4 - but rich discussion. Themes and topics included discussions about: Interesting books
were were reading e.g. “We all know how this ends”; the complexity of grief and loss from a sudden death; that navigating different
family dynamics and organising a funeral can be complex; that different people may need different types of information; and react in
their own way to loss and grief. And knowing a person’s wishes is difficult when they haven’t had discussions or left any instructions
. That there continues to still be pockets of the community where people feel a lot of discomfort around death and dying. There may be
fear related to what happens before and after death; any ‘regrets’ about what has been left undone; and that it is extremely helpful
when a person leaves information about their wishes. Often the biggest fear people have is that they will have uncontrollable pain when
they are dying/or suffering. Acknowledged that everyone dies differently – their own death. That grief can be uncontrollable for those
without ‘a belief’. That a cute, helpful resource written by Lisa Herbert is “The Bottom Drawer Book”. It’s important for Executors of
Wills to understand their responsibility and likely most people don’t truly understand this role. We spoke about on a Smartphone IPhone
that if it is passcoded locked then there is an ‘emergency’ feature and then within this area a *Medical ID section. This area can be
completed by the phone’s owner re medical history, medications, allergies etc. We had a general discussion about COVID-19, about
My Health Records(Australian) and that you can upload your Advance Health Directive to your My Health Record. General discussion
about the legal effect (no legally binding) Queensland advance care planning document, Statement of Choices and the Office of
Advance Care Planning (Queensland Health). That there is but needs to be a continuing shift from a medical model (just ‘fix’ the
patient/person) to What is it you want? Some discussion about Voluntary Assisted Dying. We spoke about how great technology is in
connecting people but we still need human connection and touch. We briefly spoke about deathbed visionS. Building a casket for self
or others.. Burials and choices – mentioning a tree can be planted in some sites; alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation) human
composting; Natural Death Advocacy Network. Mentioned how important our pets are too use and that pet therapy is wonderful for
persons dying; and the bereaved. But we also acknowledged how big a loss it is when we loss a pet; and that grief needs to be
acknowledged. Mentioned Ambulance Wishes – a beautiful voluntary service provided by Palliative Care Queensland for terminally ill people.