Tucson Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe BLOG

Wrestling with the ever-present dynamic of “doing and being” one person queried, “Why do I always have to be doing something, and what is enough?” Getting to the feeling of “it is enough,” can be a radical relief. For the questioner, the poem, “Theory of Memory,” by Louise Gluck, was illuminating.



“Long, long ago, before I was a tormented artist, afflicted with longing yet
incapable of forming durable attachments, long before this, I was a glorious ruler uniting all of a divided country—so I was told by the fortune-teller who examined my palm. Great things, she said, are ahead of you, or perhaps behind you; it is difficult to be sure. And yet, she added, what is the difference? Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream.”


Most of us wish for happiness and peace on our deathbeds. One woman shared that to pave the way she’s deciding now that although she might not be able to do everything she wants in life, she is doing what she can and living “full force.” Insights like these can bring clarity to our lives now. And, psst, talking about death is really all about life!


One wise attendee shared her fun fix for trying to manage involvement with people or things when we can’t be effective. She has a stuffed monkey that loves being tossed around as she calls out “Not my monkey!” The origin of this is a Polish expression, “not my circus, not my monkeys.” Another stress-relief pal is the “Dammit Doll.”


Someone shared a Charlie Brown greeting card with Charlie on the front swinging a baseball bat that reads, “Just when you think you’ve got it figured out,” and when you open it, a football (not a baseball) is headed towards him. That captures a bunch of current feelings!


Tony Stockwell’s meditation “Sitting in the Power” (you tube) got a mention as a beautiful centering tool, and “In the Time of Pandemic,” a powerful poem was shared. There are several great renditions of it online. We closed with the lines from “Dust in the Wind,” a song that says it well for one attendee and I’m sure many: “I close my eyes/Only for a moment and the moment’s gone.”

Add a comment