Tucson Friendly & Fearless Death Cafe

As we have in the past, perhaps now more than ever, we raised the subject of the many kinds of deaths we can experience outside of physical death. Certainly now, the death of life as we knew it, is a cause of a global chronic grief calling for mourning. I don’t think it’s wise or productive to compare losses and say one is more difficult than another. Every loss is entirely unique and personal. However, not all loss includes an existential component, which is certainly at play now with this global pandemic.


One person commented that he’s seen a lot of book titles related to death and dying, but not many on how to live in the face of certain death. “Life before death,” a message I’ve seen on a car bumper sticker, brings to mind that life is a choice. That realization may arise for the first time for some in the experience of trauma.


Diane Reams new book, “When my Time Comes,” and her 2017 title, “On my Own,” about the death of her husband of 54 years was mentioned. As was “Ageless Soul,” a 2017 book by Thomas Moore. An amazon review states, “after reading this book aging seems more like a blessing than a curse!”


Managing our Covid-19 world has, of course, been a topic of every Café from how to stay safe, mask-wearing issues, coping with air travel, and now issues regarding students returning to school or not. Some of us also shared about the peace we have found wandering in cemeteries.


The statistics of Covid, the numbers of death that we hear recounted daily has caused us, among other things, to wonder how much is enough? How many deaths are enough for everyone to decide that all precautions available are a wise course of action? We’ve also considered all the other ways that we die on planet earth and why some of these have not been met with greater concern, outrage, and action. The practical, ethical, and moral questions the pandemic has brought forth in many human arenas seem vast and all encompassing. As the hour and a half of our Death Café time was coming to a close, I realized that in that time - as present numbers reflect - 60 people died of Covid.

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