Death Cafe profile for Kevin Haselhorst

Location: United States

About Kevin Haselhorst:

Emergency Medicine physician, aspiring author, blogger, public speaker and end-of-life coach

What brings you to Death Cafe?

I believe we need to talk about death and dying in the context of dignity. Dignity being more of a spiritual concept than a medical term.

What would you like your legacy to be?

Wound Healer:

As Carl Jung would say, it is his own hurt that gives a measure of his power to heal.

Thoughts for sharing:



I hear different versions of a similar question; What do people talk about at Death Cafes?

What I prefer to talk about is people having more quality selections to their end of life menu.

My book promotes ligher-fare alternative to heavier seletions typically served at the end of life. Whereas an Advacne Care Directive may add the finest medical ingredients, I infuse my entre with a sprinkle of spirituality, attempting to bring something unconsious into the conversation. 

What we wish for and what we realize could be written in the stars or prescribed in a healtcare directive that honors a time to die with purposeful intentions to rest in peace.



Contact Kevin Haselhorst

Kevin Haselhorst's posts on the Death Cafe website

New Blog post: One Man’s Stigmata to Bear and Share

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on July 26, 2016, 11:53 a.m.

Self-expression is rarely easy for patients because words often cannot articulate how patients feel inside.  Children are often asked to draw pictures in order for psychologists to gain insight into perceptions surrounding particular life experiences. Paul, a 57-year-old patient with a provocative and morbid sense of humor, stunned the ER staff with a tattoo on his left forearm depicting how he felt on the day he had a heart attack (05/08/2004). This was ...

Link: Re-Imagine End-of-Life Care

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on June 3, 2016, 1:39 a.m.

New Blog post: Death Happens While We’re Busy Making Other Plans

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on May 4, 2016, 2:18 a.m. 2 comments

Whereas Prince did not have an estate plan before his untimely death, I am weirdly planning to be here today (in Phoenix) and gone tomorrow (to St. Louis). When my father takes his last breath this week or next, I anticipate that a part of my life will stop as he passes – rapidly moving from a state of living to mourning. Not only is death inconvenient, it’s awkward. Dad dreads waking up each day ...

New Blog post: Another Opening Day

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on April 4, 2016, 3:24 p.m.


Once upon a time Martin Simpson was playing little league and had hopes and dreams. At the age of 89 he was falling frequently due to weakness brought on by urinary tract infections. Before his son could arrive at the residential group home, Mr. Simpson had been loaded onto the EMS gurney for the obligatory trip to the emergency department after he fell again. This vicious cycle was becoming out of control and Simpson’s ...

New Blog post: Driving Miss Norma -Off the Beaten Trail

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on March 13, 2016, 8:50 p.m.


The Number #1 regret of the dying is not having the courage to live a life true to oneself, but instead living a life based on the expectations of others.

Driving Miss Norma is a popular Facebook page, a truly inspiring passage about an endearing 90-year-old woman who “hit the road” last summer after being diagnosed with uterine cancer. Off the Beaten Trail is the soul-searching journey of 18-year-old Jake Heilbrunn, due out this summer ...

New Blog post: A Spiritual Legacy for 2016

Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on Dec. 31, 2015, 2:17 a.m.

This New Year is the appropriate time to make a resolution; the occasion to link advance care planning with a spiritual legacy. People all have deep-seated values and determinations of what they are willing to pay for, live for and die for, but few actually document these for caregivers or posterity. Beginning in 2016, Medicare will begin to reimburse physicians for end-of-life counseling. However, throwing taxpayer dollars at no-win situations is potentially invaluable or a ...


Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on April 29, 2015, 10:19 a.m. 1 comment


With considerable angst, I cared for an elderly gentleman who had Multiple Myeloma, recurrent pneumonia and was not responding to treatment. He was also receiving dialysis and experiencing insufferable bone pain. He arrived by EMS gasping for breath and his blood pressure was low. It was clear he was not long for this world. In fact, he repeatedly stated, “I’m done.” Luckily, his adoring wife entered the room within minutes of his arrival for ...


Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on Dec. 19, 2014, 9:34 a.m.


T’is the season to reflect on vitality, seemingly igniting the skies during these darkest days that commence a new era.  Vitality equals dignity and is relative to the notion that we matter even when we do not measure up.  The most captivating illustration of this is the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. We stand in awe of annual Christmas trees at Rock Center or the Washington Mall, but remember the Charlie Brown Christmas tree as ...


Posted by Kevin Haselhorst on Sept. 28, 2014, 10:26 p.m.

Routine urinary infections can be life-threatening in elderly patients. Last year my always-organized mother developed disorganized thinking in conjunction with a urinary infection. She claimed over our weekly phone call that her new medication did not make her feel right.  She neglected to mention that having a fever was the reason for this medication. The reality of Mom’s apparent confusion indicated she was slipping and not destined to live forever. We needed to have ...

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