Death Cafe Resource Library

Plan for tomorrow - please don't wait - it may be too late! This link will allow you to download a free Advanced Information pack that I designed following the deaths of 4 relatives for which I was executor. Completion of this document will be a gift to your family and will be essential if you have a serious illness, dementia, stroke and when you die. It can be completed on-line and saved on to a USB drive, or printed and then completed by hand. 1000's have been downloaded over last 12 months.
The purpose of this booklet is to detail recommendations of good practices in relation to maternal grief and bereavement in search of establishing a dialogue about the loss, breaking the taboo and the silence about grief.The objective is also to help all the mothers that go through this tragedy to have access to information on the course of the grieving process in a practical and easy-to-understand way, which will help them to become more aware of their needs and their feelings, stimulating an improvement in the quality of life after the loss and thus preventing complications associated with mourning. We also intend to emphasize the importance of social and family ties in the process, awakening empathy and helping them to better understand the needs of these mothers so that they can succeed in getting the new reality adapted.
Poem by Daniel Mark Extrom; The Legacy
Posted by d-sencier@hotmail.co.uk on March 18, 2018, 6:07 a.m.
The Legacy,
My family loved me very much ,
and taught me well to share,
And I am able yet to give,
though I am not there,
Mourn me not my family;
my spirits still in you,
The lesson that you taught so well
gives work I love to do
I hope that you find comfort in my memory
The work I do helps someone to live –
My greatest legacy.
Daniel Mark Extrom
Donation
I gave my eyes so that a small girl could see
the iridescent blue of a damsel fly’s wings.
I gave my heart to a boy too weak to stand,
who now runs and climbs the rocks above the tarn.
I gave my lungs so that another child could breathe
and fill them with the ocean’s salty wind.
I need no marble headstone, but in a sun warmed clearing,
plant curving bluebells and fluted daffodils
scented blues and vibrant singing yellows
to celebrate my short life each spring.
Quote ;“I think you should automatically donate your organs because that would turn the balance of organ donation in a huge way. I would donate whatever anybody would take, and i`d probably do the cremation bit” George Clooney
Quote; “She`s keeping three people alive at the moment; her heart, her kidneys and her liver. It`s terrific. And I think she would be very thrilled and please by that.” Actor; Liam Neeson
BBC1 about keeping the body at home until the funeral
Posted by Josefine Speyer on Feb. 12, 2018, 6:29 p.m.

Judith Voirst provides excellent guidance regarding the view of death as an exception to living and rather offers the view that death is yet another experience which must be sustained by life. Voirst offers the perspective that we suffer losses daily - that loss is not an exception to life but very much part of living.
One of the most important psychological studies of the late twentieth century, On Death and Dying grew out of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's famous interdisciplinary seminar on death, life, and transition. In this remarkable book, Dr. Kübler-Ross first explored the now-famous five stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully.
Posted by Kathleen W on April 3, 2017, 11:22 a.m.

"It is the impermanence of life that gives us perspective. As we come in contact with life's precarious nature, we also come to appreciate its preciousness. Then we don't wan to wast a minute... Death is a good companion on the road to living well and dying without regrets."

From the website:
THE FIVE INVITATIONS
Discovering What Death
Can Teach Us About Living Fully
Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most.
Life and death are a package deal. They cannot be pulled apart and we cannot truly live unless we are aware of death. The Five Invitations is an exhilarating meditation on the meaning of life and how maintaining an ever-present consciousness of death can bring us closer to our truest selves.
Easy Death, Spiritual Wisdom on The Ultimate Transcending of Death and Everything Else by The Ruchir
Posted by Henny Nouwen RN,CMT on March 6, 2017, 2:19 p.m. 1 comment

"An exciting, stimulating, and
thought-provoking book that
adds immensely to the ever-
increasing literature on the
phenomena of life and death.
"...it is a confirmation that a life
filled with love instead of fear
can lead to ultimately
meaningful life and death.
"Thank you for this masterpiece."
– Elisabeth Kubler Ross, M.D.
author, On Death and Dying
Dying Well Prepared; Conversations and Choices for Terminal Patients
Posted by AlanBingham on Feb. 21, 2017, 3:47 p.m. 1 comment

A guide book to help people with the choices they need to make for end of life and the conversations they need to have.
Written by a retired hospice admissions officer it covers getting the news and understanding it, the life choices you can make and who, when and how to engage in conversation.
It includes information on living options, caregivers, legal and ethical wills, Power of Attorney, health care proxy, hospice, palliative care, pain management, and end of life itself.
It also provides suggested language for conversations to help in articulating choices. Written primarily for the US consumer it is largely generic to all countries.
Available online ...
Every state has individual programs and eligibility requirements for their Medicaid long term care. Medicaid long term care is a partnership between the state and federal government with the goal of taking care of each state’s aged, blind, or disabled populations. Click your state for a comprehensive look at available programs and eligibility qualifications.
Free, Public Symposium on "Awareness of Death and Personal Mortality: Implications for Anthropogeny"
Posted by Ingrid Benirschke-Perkins on Jan. 12, 2017, 12:38 p.m.

Join the live webcast!
Awareness of Death and Personal Mortality: Implications for Anthropogeny is the topic of a free public symposium hosted by the UCSD/Salk Center for Academic Research & Training in Anthropogeny (CARTA) on Friday, March 3rd (1:00 – 5:30 pm PT), co-chaired by Nicholas Humphrey (Univ of Cambridge) and Ajit Varki (UC San Diego).
While certain warm-blooded social animals and birds appear to react selectively and specifically to the death of other members of their group, humans seem to be very unusual in the quality and extent of our responses, and in the ability to translate these experiences into an understanding of our personal mortality ...