Death Café Notes Westwood Branch Library, Los Angeles, CA
A write up of LOS ANGELES, CA Death Cafe
9/27/16
16 attendees
Our session began with a discussion about a documentary “How to Die in Oregon” and we discussed right-to-die issues v. assisted dying. It is available on Netflix and youtube.
We talked about fear—are we afraid of dying? Some more than others, some not at all and consensus was that it got easier as you got older and had had some time to live. One young man said it made him appreciate his family in the ‘now’ and to live for the moment.
Are we familiar with near-death experiences? There were several interesting stories around this.
The word relief often came up. Most understood its’ use but others felt that it could be misinterpreted. One participant had watched her husband of many years go through dementia and (very slowly) deteriorate and she admitted to profound relief for them both.
We wound up having several doctors in the group (two retired) and one intern said she had recently researched “advance directives” and gave us a very good description of various alternatives and when they apply—DNRs are just in-hospital orders v. DNI(ntubate) v. orders outside the hospital and how to make your wishes known. If you don’t have any advance directives all medical personnel will do whatever it takes to save your life—it is their job. POLST (Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment) lets you specify exactly what you do/do not want. You can even post these on the refrigerator or carry them with you.
How do we prepare? Emotionally but also physically, in addition to the ‘stuff’. Conversation! Tell those you love though it seems that most children (of whatever age) either didn’t seem to listen or want to hear it.
Oddly enough we ended discussing another movie ‘Departures’, an Oscar winning Japanese film was recommended by the caregiver of one of the women (same woman thanked me several times for the seminar stating that “no one will talk with me about any of this”).
This was our first time doing this but not the last.