More Questions Than Answers
A write up of BBC Recording a Death Cafe
By clareslaney
9 or so of us settled down to begin the evening, all of us well over 30 years old some of us in our 80’s, and then a group of 10 young people, no one older than 24 arrived and our cosy circle opened wide!
The discussion was fluid and respectful, moving from personal experiences of bereavement; the comfort of being able to talk with dying parents and the pain of being prevented from speaking about a death that is so obviously happening; to having a sense of how ordinary death is, how integrated it can be into life at the same time as being mysterious.
We became aware that the lack of structure around the entire subject of decline, dying, death and bereavement can silence us, that we need a language to describe what’s happening. Is there an art to dying? What rituals have been useful to carry people through these events, how do people use ritual now? There were many more questions than answers which felt fruitful and full of potential. Tom from the BBC was discrete, involved, respectful and people seemed happy to speak with him. It’ll be fascinating to hear how Portbello Death Café comes across on Radio 4 on Sunday morning.
The beautiful cake was very kindly donated by Hummingbird Bakery, the fruit by one of the participants which helped the conversation after the more reflective process flow so well that I had to remind people to go home. Coffee Plant were gracious and helpful. I’m looking forward to the next Death Café on 6th November.