Wonderful people & conversation
A write up of Death Cafe - Palatine
By Kristen
We had a great turn out for our first shot at hosting the Death Cafe. 30 people showed up to eat and chat, which was our maximum capacity, we literally filled the place!
We started the evening with some quick introductions and reasons for attending. I gave some background on what Death Cafes are all about and opened the floor for topics of conversation.
We spoke about some of the characteristics of people who are dying, which lead into discussion about end of life situations. Lots of stories were shared about being with a loved one as they passed away.We talked about family dynamics, good and bad, after a death has occurred.
Elizabeth, a hospice chaplain, passed out brochure entitled, “Five Wishes” which details a person’s final wishes so they can easily communicate them to their family and the importance of letting your wishes be known.
We talked about how people “visit” us after they die and how most often times it’s more than just coincidence. This lead into many different stories of "signs" from loved ones.
We discussed briefly the difference between Christian beliefs and scientific beliefs and the viewpoint that death is a "loner" process; no matter what your beliefs are for the afterlife, everyone crosses the threshold alone.
We shared lots of stories about the difference between funerals that are viewed as celebrations of life vs. very tragic, sad deaths resulting in tenser funeral situations; the feelings dictated by the mourners.
Touched on a little on the concept of denial with a closed casket vs the reality of the situation with an open casket.
We had a lot of “listeners”, which was excellent and a lot of "sharers", which was equally great.
We probably could have talked all night! But once the session wrapped up I passed out an evaluation and received some wonderful feedback.
Some people thought the conversation was very satisfying and "therapeutic". The group was diverse and yet everyone's opinions were well respected. Our venue was raved about (HUGE shout out to Norma!!) and it felt like a discussion between old friends, not strangers.
“The format gave people an opportunity to share thoughts that they were carrying on their own hearts.”
When one was asked, what specifically did you like? “The different perspectives on death & the treats!!” Can't sum it up better than that!
“My expectations regarding the death café is to learn by listening and talking about death, how to live fully. I walked away with the reminder of living life without regrets.”
Can't wait for our next go around! Will likely pose several specific questions to dive deeper into some points we touched on during this session.