18th Death Café Hampstead write up for 1 December 2014

18th Death Café Hampstead write up,1 December. 2014

by Josefine Speyer


This write up needs some bits adding to complete it. There was no time for this before the Christmas holidays. Josefine

38 booked to attend

32 attended:  3 men and 29 women

(including 6 female facilitators)


Average age:  

Average age for  Men: 70 

Average age for Women: 57


19 feedback forms returned: 16 Women, 3 Men


Average age:  62


Overall, how would you rate this event? 9   

(10 = excellent, 1 = poor)   


People's experiences of this Death Café:


Really fascinating – and the atmosphere at our table was generous and level.  I specially felt our openness about life and our relations with others and beyond – to share out thoughts and such different lives spans and thoughts listening and not judging.

Perhaps a consistency – overall a very comfortable and surprising  (and positive) convivial atmosphere.  Architect; female 25

I always like to be in situations where talk about death/old age/dying is possible.  Plenary maybe people could be asked to report on small groups – discouraged from detailing personal experience in the large group.

For me personally, acoustics in the room are very difficult.  I suppose fewer people might help. More men? Josefine + male host?  Retired film maker; male 83

Interesting – distracting atmosphere

Feld dissatisfied with the acoustics and too many people.  Male 60 +

Very open discussions around various topics related to death.  Safe environment to explore thoughts.  Children’s centre manager; female 59

Very interested by talk around subject of after death experiences.  Still fee whole ‘Death Café’ per se is life enhancing – makes you re-evaluate the ‘now’ – be present.  Nursery nurse; female 53

Such a relief to listen to other people’s experiences of death and dying and bereavement and to share my own thoughts and feelings in a gentle non-judgemental atmosphere.

Perhaps the acoustics were not perfect and it was difficult for some people to hear.  Trade union official; female 57

Felt honoured to be able to listen to the people at my table sharing such heartfelt personal stories about their lives.  I like the way we all listened carefully to each other. Very interesting to hear about others lives and beliefs, hopes and fears.

A bit hot and noisy at times.  Teacher; female 61 

On the negative side I found it difficult to hear, and the whole thing was somewhat overwhelming because of the acoustics/location/so many people.  On the positive side the people at my table were very nice and we touched upon a number of concerns/thought/ideas.

I found the experience more of an introduction than an in-depth discussion, for which one would probably have to take part a number of times, and which I would like to do. Composer; female 78

I was with Sally, ………………,big age differences I did wonder if we would be able to have shared discussions but no problem.  We were able to listen and hear each other.  It was l lovely warm, supportive, encouraging and challenging experience.  I was able to talk about rather nebulous ideas I am struggling with as I metamorphise into this episode of my life.   I feel the death café helps me see the shape of my life – sort of.

Sound, acoustics problems are frustrating. Family therapist; female 80

In my group I felt relaxed to speak about quite personal issues around death.  It was interesting to discuss as a group the subject of ‘death’ and its related topics – however not going anywhere new.  Perhaps – specific sessions focusing on a particular ‘aspect’ –with speaker or reading or ………………(not sure!)

The end sessions a bit ‘directed’ by a few individuals with a specific focus.   Teacher female 61

Interesting, but felt that the facilitator spoke too much of her personal experience.  Psychotherapist female 72

Friendly, comfortable.  Our group had a booth so easy to hear and focus.  Wide ranging discussions and non judgemental.

I ordered a cappuccino that never arrived.  Marketing & events management; female 41

Was warm and welcoming.  It allowed all sort of emotions to come up and be present.  I found the topic so important to be explored, processed and shared.  Body Psychotherapist; female 32


What motivated you to attend this evening?

1 x I have a life-limiting illness       

9 x I have been bereaved                              

10 x I want to prepare for my own death (and for parents death)        

10 x I wish to learn about end of life issues



·      Likes to talk about death

·      Elderly parents, ill daughter

·      Helping my dying clients

·      Interest in all aspects of life and hope that everyone will be supported in their death by compassionate and kind beings.


Ethnic background:


Religious/spiritual orientation in childhood and now:


Have you attended a Death Café before? If so, how many?

 came for the first time

 came for the second time

 came for the third time

 Facilitators attended between 8 and over 20 Death Cafes


Do you, or are you planning to host a Death Café?

x I want to host a Death Café



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