Death in the Rain...November
A write up of Westport Death Cafe
By Val Lovelace
It's been raining here for a few days now, and tonight was pretty awful. Even so, three brave souls ventured out into the wind and rain to talk about death...and life...and breathing...and near death experiences...and suicide...and...
One man spoke of a severe accident he had some years ago and how his father came to tell him he couldn't die yet, that he still had things to do.
Conversation drifted toward other NDE experiences we had heard about and wondering what role our minds and our souls play in things that happen. We all agreed that if we have guardian angels that accompany us, this man's deserved overtime!
A visiting couple shared how they discovered that what they thought were well thought-out plans for their daughter if something should happen to them weren't really so clear for a number of reasons. They began talking to their daughter about their estate planning after one of them visited Westport's Death Cafe last month. Their daughter asked a number of questions and the three soon discovered there was quite a bit more to it than meets the eye.
They gave us a great idea: Hold a "Death Drill" in your family, just like an emergency action plan or a succession plan. Sit with those you have identified to hold your powers of attorney, executors or executrixes, trustees, and so forth.
Kick off the conversation by saying: "What's the first step you should take when I die?" And keep going, allowing everyone to ask as many questions and as detailed as possible. Think you have it all together?
What information does your state require for a death certificate, and does your advocate have that information?
Where is the title for your car?
What should happen with your pets?
Who gets that one family heirloom that everybody wants to have (like the hand-painted plate that hung in my grandmother's kitchen that she promised to at least two dozen different people)?
Should your advocate use your attorney/advisor or their own?
Where's the list of friends and relatives to notify?
What are your state's probate laws?
And where did you write the password to your Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and [fill in the blank] accounts?
What about your bank account? Most banks have "pay on death" options that will keep your account out of probate.
What about art work? Valuable books? Sacred items? Tools?
And what about all those times you've been asked for beneficiary information: Is that informoation up to date?
Do people you do business with have your emergency contact's name, address, and phone number?
So much to consider, isn't it?
We had a cozy evening with cake (Angel Food and Devil's Food!), tea, coffee, and enlightening conversations that took us to the edge of the cosmos and back again.
It was a great time. Please join us again on November 20, 2014, 6:30p - 8:00p at the Westport Volunteer Fire Department. Y'all come!