The tenth Death Cafe in Verona, Italy

We held the tenth Death Café here in Verona at Elisabetta’s house. There were 6 participants and the evening was characterized by  a lively atmosphere with the discussion covering many  varied subjects.

It’s difficult for all of us to speak about death, we find it hard to accept. Even in the case of a serious, potentially terminal illness, it is difficult for the sick person to talk to their family as they cannot accept the possibility that a loved one might die. This silence also surrounds bereavement. We cannot find the words to show how we feel close to a bereaved person who in turn seems to be required by society to contain their emotions and return to normal as quickly as possible.

Some think of death using words such as light, peace, passage, sister death; others speak of liberation understood both as a liberation from suffering and as a dispersion of consciousness; yet others described death in terms of fear. To tame this fear we look for various consoling expedients and we all have our own way of imagining this passage to the hereafter. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the loss of a dear one and remembering those who have passed on.  For some it is important to look at photos every day of family members who have died; for others the memory is lodged in their heart; and some feel it is important to let go of those who are no longer with us.

What do we want to achieve before we die? Some work hard every day in order to realize a dream or a plan and to do something significant for themselves; others would like to, for example, write a book, have a child or get in touch with estranged family members; for others there weren’t as yet any specific plans or things they wish to achieve. It is not always immediately clear what obstacles prevent us from achieving what we want and sometimes it is events themselves which decide for us.

The words used to describe this Death Café were: calm, meditative, free, pleasant, interesting, stimulating, warm, good, relaxing, friendly atmosphere, empathy, sharing, naturalness, spontaneity.


All the participants said they would recommend Death Café to a friend because it is a positive experience, it makes you feel good and it’s much easier to take part in than expected.

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