Death Cafe Wellington NZ 27 April 1pm-3pm
A write up of Death Cafe Wellington NZ
By Sophia Tara
This was our 2nd Death Cafe in Wellington NZ “the coolest little capital in the world” according to Lonely Planet.
We opened by creating a sacred space with an indigenous Maori Song-Blessing and a one minute “silence of presence.” Once again the beautiful church venue afforded the perfect peaceful space fit for reverent dialogue on death, dying and the beauty of Life.
Attended by 12 kindred spirits, quietly intent with curious anticipation. Introductions revealed why participants attended the Death Cafe. From sharing grief on the sudden death of a beloved mother, missing out on being invited to a friend’s funeral, mourning the loss of a dearly loved pet, and a participant from our 1st Death Cafe with a recent family death.
We continued with a “Death Circle” for those who wanted to express their death experiences more fully. They were given a Sunflower to hold as they shared their story without interruptions, followed by empathic questions from the circle. On completion, they passed the Sunflower to the next person who wished to share. A very moving experience as we listened, empathised and held a community container of compassion.
To break the grief mode our wonderful Ukulele players led everyone into singing Bob Dylan’s hauntingly hopeful song “Death Is Not the End” expressing our common humanity and inter-connectedness.
This was followed by the 2nd part of our Death Cafe.
A discussion arose about “compassionate euthanasia” with its difficult moral and legal implications. It was a reminder of the controversial euthanasia court case in NZ, a loving son who helped end the suffering of his dying mother pleading with him for help to die with dignity. A dialogue on “modern technology” used to prolong life when it may be better to die naturally - examples given by those working in the hospice and health area. Our group included a lay preacher from the Anglican church, a funeral celebrant, a mental health professional, and a couple of end-of-life-caregivers.
At the end of the two hours, people remarked “we need longer!” Feedback included the following comments:
(1) Another great Death Cafe! These sessions are a revelation...I have discovered a profound understanding of death and what it means to me.
(2) Much better than I had hoped for...attendees participated well and with courage...good to have seen doctors who find death a threat to their competence. Sophia is an excellent facilitator, giving of herself generously, and highly skilled in an unassuming way.
(3) Very well facilitated. An enjoyable experience...openness and congruity...very much like to participate again.
(4) Great cafe! Thanks! It gave me space to cry and grieve for my darling [pet] that I lost.
(5) Great space to talk about our experiences of death...to be listened to and honoured in the process. I feel blessed.
(6) Fascinating to be part of an open forum for the beautiful aspect of life...inspired and thought provoking.
(7) Moving. Enjoyed hearing different perspectives...look forward to coming back.
(8) A very honest sharing soul to soul by some wise and caring people...this should be more readily available in communities.
(9) A breath of fresh air...crucial to talk about...healthy, important, necessary.
(10) Death...needs to come out of the shadows...a healing movement in many ways!
(11) A very interesting and accommodating forum...am grateful for the input of others who shared their experiences and insight.
(12) I was drawn to come as a couple of friends died and I wanted to experience my life more. I experienced a journey into events in my own life that I needed to explore.
We closed with a one minute “silence of gratitude” holding hands as we sent loving thoughts into the world. A last request for another ukulele song by our ukers “Reach Out to Life.” People lingered on, chatting and exchanging mutual hugs, grateful for the sharing and connections.
Heart-felt gratitude to all the wonderful souls who attended and made this another memorable gathering. Our next Death Cafe is on Sunday 25 May 1pm-3pm. Watch This Space J
NB: Permission given for use of group photos :)
