September 2025 - Mourning Brew Death Cafe with Marissa Jane

A write up of Online Death Cafe Mourning Brew EST

By Marissa Jane

What a beautiful and heartfelt conversation we shared together during this months Death Cafe! Thank you to everyone who joined us- whether it was your first time or you've been part of our community for several months. Each person's presence and willingness to share made our gathering truly special.

We explored so many meaningful topics during our session:

Grief and Loss: We discussed the deeply personal experiences of grief, including the sudden loss of beloved pets and family members, and how the healing process unfolds differently for everyone - sometimes taking a year and a half or longer to feel better. We explored the concept of carrying grief "like a stone" (as Jay Shetty describes) and the importance of acknowledging and addressing grief without the expectation of "getting over it." We also touched on the concerns many of us share about traveling when we have aging or ill pets at home, and creative solutions like potentially bringing them along on future trips.

End-of-Life Support and Community: Several participants shared their experiences with specialized support groups, including a monthly gathering specifically for those who have received terminal diagnoses. These groups provide a unique space to discuss concerns that are specific to end-of-life experiences, from managing home health care and losing independence to navigating the emotional landscape of serious illness. We discussed how the more we engage with these supportive communities, the more familiar and comfortable they become.

Practical End-of-Life Planning: We had rich conversations about the importance of preparing legal paperwork, including advance directives and wills, to ensure our wishes are respected. The value of working with a Death Doula was discussed as a way to help navigate these decisions and alleviate the burden on loved ones during difficult times.

Environmentally Conscious Options: We explored various disposition options beyond traditional burial and cremation:

Aquamation (alkaline hydrolysis) as a more environmentally friendly alternative to cremation, with growing legality across various states
Composting (human composting) as an eco-conscious choice that some prefer over cremation
Natural burials as options that reduce environmental impact
Burial at sea as another alternative
The group discussed the environmental concerns associated with traditional cremation and the personal comfort levels with different options.

Memorialization and Physical Connection We talked about the importance of maintaining a physical connection for loved ones to remember the deceased. This included discussions about:

Keeping ashes at home and the questions that arise about what to do with them over time
Creating memorial jewelry from ashes as a way to keep loved ones close
The value of having a physical place for memorials where family and friends can visit and remember
The challenges of making decisions about remains and honoring multiple loved ones
Living Funerals: We explored the beautiful and increasingly popular concept of living funerals - celebrations of life that allow people to gather and share love, memories, and appreciation while everyone is still present to experience it together. This can be a powerful way to hear the impact we've had on others and celebrate relationships before it's too late.

One of the most wonderful aspects of our Death Cafe community is how we can support one another. During this session, connections were made to help individuals facing terminal illness find specialized support groups where they can discuss their unique concerns with others who truly understand.

Our next Death Cafe is scheduled for late October—typically the last Thursday of the month. I'll confirm the exact date soon and send out a reminder.

I'm also setting up a grief support group for those interested in ongoing conversations and community support. Please let me know if this appeals to you.

For those seeking virtual Death Cafe options between our in-person gatherings in Jacksonville, Florida, I'm happy to share resources—just send me a note!

Whether you're navigating active grief, planning for the future, supporting someone with a terminal illness, or simply curious about these important conversations, you belong here.

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