Notes from Orange County Death Café, January 15, 2025
A write up of Orange County Death Cafe - Jan 15, 2025
By Endswell
Notes from Orange County Death Café, January 15, 2025
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
There are now 5 Death Cafes in Durham and Orange counties:
• 1st Thursday of the month, 6:00-8:00 p.m.: Orange County Death Café, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough, facilitator TBD. Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/
• 2nd Monday of the month, 5:45-7:45 p.m.: Hillsborough Death Café, 903 Eno Street, Hillsborough, facilitated by Neidra Clark. To register contact Neidra at neidra@mindspring.com.
• 3rd Monday of the month, 9:30-11:00 a.m.: Daylight Death Café, Seymour Center, Chapel Hill, facilitated by John Chase. To register contact the Seymour Center front desk, 919-968-2070. In January the meeting will be the 4th Monday due to the MLKJr Day holiday.
• 3rd Wednesday of the month, 6:00-8:00 p.m.: Orange County Death Café, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough, facilitated by Sara Williams. Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/
• 4th Monday of the month, 5:30-7:30 p.m.: Southwest Durham Death Café, Southwest Regional Library, Shannon Road, Durham, facilitated by Kathy Rudy, Ph.D. No registration needed.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Endswell Information Sessions are now regularly scheduled for the 3rd Thursday of the month. For more information, please call 919-907-9777.
Funeral Consumers Alliance North Carolina annual board meeting and free filming of “Defining Hope,” March 2, Seymour Center, Chapel Hill. No need to register.
Funeral Consumers Alliance National Conference with be in the RTP region, June 26-29. Themes are Funeral Poverty and Indigent Burial.
Letsreimagine.org is holding 3 February Zoom meetings that address Sibling Loss. FEE: $15.
CONVERSATIONS:
· Opening space for very sick people to either speak or not speak about their condition
· Ethical Wills: An Ethical Will is a gift you leave your loved ones. It’s a way you can express your experiences, values, and other important themes and life lessons you want to pass down. Unlike traditional Wills, there’s no money or property passed on through Ethical Wills. Instead, what you’re sharing is your wisdom and advice with loved ones. https://trustandwill.com/learn/ethical-will
· Starting the EOL Conversation: https://theconversationproject.org/ and https://med.stanford.edu/letter/about.html and card decks: Morbid Curiosity, My Gift of Grace, Death Deck, Go Wish, Mortalls
· Death Themed Cocktails: The Last Word, Corpse Reviver, Death in the Afternoon.
RESOURCES:
Books:
Arnoldy, Francesca. The Death Doula’s Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared: An Essential Workbook to Help You Reflect Back, Plan Ahead, and Find Peace on Your Journey. https://www.amazon.com/s?k=living+fully+dying+prepared&crid=25G7B2Z8KQKRB&sprefix=living+fully+dying+prepared%2Caps%2C227
Jenkinson, Stephen. Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul. https://www.amazon.com/Die-Wise-Manifesto-Sanity-Soul/dp/1583949739?crid=N3BT8OQ2KNXR&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sMpoh16TArSpHRPkZcB3Xg.tre-m4seN3Riwz5xEpYX8CW9bRYHUO8mdMO9BC51svg&dib_tag=se&keywords=diewise&qid=1738608046&sprefix=diewise%2Caps%2C219&sr=8-1
Films:
The Room Next Door
Websites:
Death Doulas:
· National Alliance for Caring at Home: https://www.caringinfo.org/blog/what-is-a-death-doula/
· Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_midwife
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MESSAGE TO THE JUST DEPARTED
DEAREST
Your body is dead,
And your soul has been released.
Accept the ending of this life
for your work is done here,
and look with joy to the new
freedoms, new abilities and
new opportunities for growth
which now await you.
Help each of us whom you have
touched in this lifetime
to let you go with that same joy.
May we each be open to the
help which you are able to
give from your new place of being.
May you always follow
the Light within you.
---Rayna Cooney
words.
instead of saying, “I know what it feels like,”
let’s say, “I cannot imagine your heartbreak.”
instead of saying, "you’re strong, you’ll get through this,”
let's say, “you’ll hurt, and I’ll be here.”
instead of saying, “you look like you’re doing well,”
let’s say, “how are you holding up today?”
instead of saying, “healing takes time,”
let’s say, “healing has no timeline.”
instead of saying, “they’re in a better place,”
let’s say, “your love was so deeply evident.”
instead of saying, “everything happens for a reason,”
let’s say, “this must feel so terribly senseless right now.”
And when there are no words to say at all, you don’t
need to try to find some.
love speaks in silences too.
ullie-kaye