Notes from Orange County Death Café, April 3, 2025
A write up of Orange County Death Cafe - April 3, 2025
By Endswell
Notes from Orange County Death Café, April 3, 2025
Moderator: James McKelvey
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
There are now 6 Death Cafes in Durham and Orange counties:
• 1st Thursday of the month, 6:00-8:00 p.m.: Orange County Death Café, Endswell FH, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough, facilitator James McKelvey. Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/
• 2nd Monday of the month, 5:45-7:45 p.m.: Hillsborough Death Café, 903 Eno Street, Hillsborough, facilitated by Neidra Clark. To register contact Neidra at neidra@mindspring.com.
• 3rd Monday of the month, 9:30-11:00 a.m.: Daylight Death Café, Seymour Center, Chapel Hill, facilitated by John Chase. To register contact the Seymour Center front desk, 919-968-2070.
• 3rd Wednesday of the month, 6:00-8:00 p.m.: Orange County Death Café, Endswell FH, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough, facilitated by Sara Williams. Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/
• 4th Monday of the month, 5:30-7:30 p.m.: Southwest Durham Death Café, Southwest Regional Library, Shannon Road, Durham, facilitated by Kathy Rudy, Ph.D. No registration needed.
• 4th Thursday of the month, 1:30-3 p.m., LGBTQ+ Death Café, facilitated by Tsyr Han Chow. No registration needed at this time.
• Also, Death over Drafts is up and running in Wendell.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Endswell Information Sessions are now regularly scheduled for the 3rd Thursday of the month. Virtual sessions are scheduled for May 6 from 2-3 p.m. and June 3 from 6:30-7 p.m. For more information, please call 919-907-9777.
Endswell Monthly Movie / Speaker series returns May 13 at 6:30 p.m. with a documentary film, “Live and Let Go.” Created by Jay Niver of Pittsboro, who will answer questions about his father’s decision to end his life during a terminal illness and the making of the film.
Orange County Department on Aging will host a two-part workshop on The Conversation Project on May 6 and May 27 from 4:00-6:00 p.m. at the Seymour Center in Chapel Hill. Register at 919-968-2070.
Veronica Beattie will hold a shrouding workshop at Bluestem Conservation Cemetery from 12:00-2:00 p.m. on May 16.
The Reemergence of Green Burial and DIY Funerals at Durham’s Main Library from 12:00-2:00 p.m. on May 24.
FCA Biennial Conference ("The Cost of Goodbye: Confronting Funeral Poverty in Our Communities") will be held June 26-29 in Raleigh! Registration is now open + more details at https://funerals.org/
CONVERSATIONS:
· Human composting legislation is sitting on the governor’s desk for approval in Georgia. Legislation introduced in January in Texas and Indiana.
· Blaming self for getting old, Alzheimer’s / forgetfulness, control at the end, self-determination. Make plans & talk to family now.
· Death / funeral care
· MAID (medical aid in dying) study bill introduced in NC this spring. https://dyingrightnc.org/news/bipartisan-maid-study-bill-introduced-gathers-media-attention/
· Poverty of relationships: not talking at all about death with people who need to know your wishes.
· Fun-erals: Pre-death celebrations of life.
· Conversation Starters
· Feel the fear and do it anyway.
· What rituals do you want?
· Willow caskets
· Decorating a shroud
RESOURCES:
Articles:
Haas, Michaela. “Rewilding Death in the Appalachian Mountains,”https://reasonstobecheerful.world/conservation-burials-rewilding-death/?utm_source=Reasons+to+be+Cheerful&utm_campaign=8812d2b6bc-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_09_01_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_89fb038efe-8812d2b6bc-518335350
Pink, Daniel. “Why not attend your own funeral?” https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2025/04/14/living-celebrations-attend-own-funeral/
Books:
Miller, B.J., and Shoshana Berger. A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical advice for living life and facing death, https://www.amazon.com/s?k=a+beginners+guide+to+the+end&crid=95PG6T4WJXXT&sprefix=a+beginners%2Caps%2C309&ref=nb_sb_ss_p13n-pd-dpltr-2-ranker_5_11
Films:
Going Your Way, https://www.ninepbs.org/goingyourway/
Defining Hope, https://www.hope.film/
Website:
Advance Directive for Dementia: https://compassionandchoices.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Dementia-Tool-Fact-sheet-01-30-24.pdf
Conversation starter guide: https://theconversationproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/ConversationStarterGuide.pdf
Hospice Nurse Julie: https://www.hospicenursejulie.com
Moss and Thistle Farm for Willow Caskets: https://www.mossandthistlefarm.com/