The Ideas Hub Chelmsford Death Café 25-03-22

The Ideas Hub Chelmsford Death Café 25-03-22

Facilitated by Jane Iskander


Today we held a lovely Death Café, an opportunity for people to come together in a relaxed environment to talk about death. This Death Café is kindly hosted by The Ideas Hub, who also provide tea, coffee and biscuits.  At this monthly lunchtime event, the conversation flowed, covering a range of topics, with plenty of laughter too!

The discussion touched on many matters, talk of wills and why many of us find it difficult to ‘ get around to writing a will, are we afraid that writing a will means we are ready to die, or will die as soon as we sign it? Talk turned to Living funerals, the idea of holding a funeral or memorial event whilst the person whose funeral it is, is alive and able to attend, therefore giving them opportunity to not only hear the lovely things people say about them, but also to say goodbye to those they love. An interesting discussion, relating to the Grayson Perry ‘Rites of Passage’ documentary, which showed a family whoheld a living funeral, this series also looked at aspects of euthanasia or turning off our own ‘life support’.  

We turned to talk about who a funeral is for, the deceased or those left behind, with some Café attendees speaking about their own preferences for their funeral and some said what music they’d like at their funeral.  We talked about Woodland burials, cremation, where to place the ashes,  

The conversation led some to talk of feeling more comfortable expressing difficult thoughts & feelings with near strangers at the Death Café, than with loved ones, of wanting to ‘protect’  and not  upset family by talking honestly about our thoughts and wishes.  Some of the Café attendees said they’d like family members to come along to the Death Café, because of how it would help them too. Some said they wish they had been to a Death Café sooner, before their relative became ill and died, reflecting that attending the Death Café can make having difficult conversations with loved ones less difficult!

Death Café is an event not a venue, we hold a Death Café on the last Friday of the month at The Ideas Hub in Chelmsford.

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