December Death Cafe Write Up

For our December Death Café Iowa, we met via Zoom. Buffy Peters from the Bereavement Professionals Group facilitated the group. We had a group of eight individuals for December’s Death Café. There were individual’s from out-of-state and in-state joining in on our conversation.


This month’s discussion centered around the holidays and how death and grief affects the holiday experience. Some individual’s talked about creating new traditions to honor their loved one(s) throughout the holidays. One individual shared that her family had tried to create a new tradition the previous year, but it didn’t serve its purpose, so she had to try something different this year. It’s important to recognize that creating a new tradition can include some trial-and-error. We also talked about the emotions associated with missing a loved one around the holiday season, due to death or distancing because of Covid-19.


Continuing the conversation of Covid-19, we talked about how death plans of individuals were disrupted due to Covid-19 restrictions, and the feelings of uncertainty and heartbreak that come along with that disruption. Individual’s related to one another when their loved one’s death plans, like a funeral service, were delayed due to Covid-19, and how this delay ultimately delayed their feelings of grief.


One individual talked about embracing herself and leaving fear in 2021. This led to the sharing of various media, like books, podcasts, and poems. One specific poem being, “Having it Out with Melancholy,” by Jane Kenyon.


Overall, December’s Death Café was productive and empowering as we connected with other individuals prior to the holiday season.

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