Summary for 01/13/2021 Death Cafe - Hillsborough
A write up of Online Death Cafe - Hillsborough Eastern Time (via Zoom)
By Neidra
Hello fellow mortals! Thank you to those who delved and dipped into our death discussions during the first-of-2021 Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H) Zoom call! Welcome to the five new folx! Zoom offers a different dynamic from meeting in person and allows people to participate from long distances (NC mountains, GA and CA this time). We are grateful for UMC allowing us to use their Zoom account. If you have not yet sent a few dollars to say thanks for Wednesday’s get together, here is their website: uniongroveumc.org and mailing address: United Methodist Church, Rev. Rich Greenway, 6407 Union Grove Church Road, Hillsborough, NC 27278. Thank you for thanking them. **Mark your calendars for the next DC-Hillsborough on February 10th, 6pm-8pm, via Zoom meeting. Please look for a reminder I’ll email 2-3 days prior *which will include the Zoom link*. SUMMARY: • Topics we discussed and shared (separated by **): **We lit candles in honor and memory of a beloved Death Café attendee, Tyrone Schmidt. He died peacefully at home on December 7th with his wife, son and dog by his side. Tricia wrote to Sara and me, thanking us for our efforts to keep our Death Cafés going and including Tyrone in our events. I want those of you who met Tyrone to hear what Tricia also relayed, “It meant a lot to him and helped him see himself as valuable and appreciated.” Attached to this email is “A Litany of Remembrance,” a poem I sent Tricia -- best read at a nice slow, meaningful pace. **Compiling our own funeral song lists was a fun topic. Jewel has shared hers with us; see attached. **For a plethora of Green Burial information, go to the website of the NC-based non-profit Green Burial Project, founded by our very own Anne Weston, https://www.greenburialproject.org/ , and the Green Burial Council https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/ **Aquamation or Alkaline Hydrolysis: Cremation Association of North America https://www.cremationassociation.org/page/alkalinehydrolysis (Shelby, NC business site) https://www.claybarnette.com/services/human-aquamation **Parting Stone (solidifying cremains into rock-like form) https://partingstone.com/ **The solicitous mailer stating how important it is to “know how to qualify for a benefit that will pay all your funeral expenses” is really about insurance. After a brief discussion so everyone was aware of this, we all agreed that if you receive one of these mailers, it should be put in the recycling bin. Be an informed and knowledgeable funeral consumer. You’ll find good info, including area funeral home price lists, at the Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Carolina (the current president is our very own Sara Williams) https://www.funeralsnc.org/ If you live in another state: https://funerals.org/ **The movie with Susan Sarandon, Blackbird, is on Amazon Prime and includes MedAiD. For education on Medical Aid in Dying (in the past it’s been referred to as MAID; we’re shifting to using “MedAiD”): Dying Right NC https://www.dyingrightnc.org/ and outside NC: Death With Dignity https://www.deathwithdignity.org/ **Caitlin Doughty’s name popped up again and with good reason. Caitlin is a mortician, activist, and funeral industry rabble-rouser. Her website: http://caitlindoughty.com/ **BOOKS that were mentioned (all in just this one meeting!): “A Beginner’s Guide to the End” by B.J. Miller & Shoshana Berger; “Growing Old: Notes on Aging with Something like Grace” by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas; “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande; “My Father’s Wake: How the Irish Teach us to Live, Love and Die” by Kevin Toolis; “The Last Frontier: Exploring the Afterlife and Transforming Our Fear of Death” by Julia Assante. VIDEOS mentioned or shared (thank you!): BJ Miller “What Really Matters at the End of Life” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apbSsILLh28; Has your child lived before? Carol Bowman, author of “Children's Past Lives,” shows how children's memories offer the best evidence yet for reincarnation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW0fe6wQhZc • Educational opportunities: **Would you like to learn more about End Of Life Doulas (EOLDs), also known as Death Doulas? On Tuesday January 19th from 12-1pmET, three Doulas (one of them is yours truly!) will share what EOLDs are, and the various ways we support the dying and their loved ones -- through the last days or weeks, through the dying process, and through the early stages of grief. This panel discussion, with live Q&A, is presented by A Completed Life Initiative (see attached poster). Free. Register at https://t.co/nW1TifjXxU?amp=1 **“Death, Dying and The Afterlife; Lessons from World Cultures” is offered by Peer Learning of Chapel Hill. Instructor: Michael Joseph. Spring 2021 semester starts on January 27, 2021; see the course summary attached. Registrations are online for $20 at: www.peerlearningofchapel.com **Orange County (NC) Dept. Of Aging presents Case for Green Burial Talk: Feb. 11, 4:00-5:15 pm. Register at 919-968-2087. **Beyond the Obituary Podcast: 12: What is Green Burial? Anne Weston from The Green Burial Project Explains | Beyond the Obituary | Episode 12 • Two grief discussion groups/circles mentioned: **Professional and Retired Professional Women, Grief and Transitions. Thursday, January 28th 2:00-3:00, Free. Contact Amber Stanley for info and to register Amber@amberwavescoaching.com **Free, virtual Grief Circles will be held on: Jan 14 & 28, Feb 11 & 25, Mar 11 & 25. Organized by Dana Brinson. You can register for one or more at https://consultingbetwixt.com/services/ola/services/grief-circle-free If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page (search @deathcafehillsborough). Here’s the formally approved listing on deathcafe.com: https://deathcafe.com/deathcafe/12776/ See you at the next DEATH CAFÉ – Hillsborough VIA ZOOM! FEBRUARY 10, 2021 6:00 – 8:00PM Stay safe and be well! Neidra “Death is a Life Coach!”