Write up for Online Death Cafe Liverpool (October 2020)

A write up of Death Cafe Liverpool Online GMT

By Jamie

Online Death Cafe (October)

 Evaluation Summary

 

Evaluations:  6 submitted

 Attendees:  1 facilitator, 10 attendees

 

Our October Death Cafe combined both the continued attention on death related to Covid-19 that has been such a big part of 2020 as well as its timing so close to Samhain, Halloween, Day of the Dead and All Souls Day to name some of those markers of this time of year. They signify the changing season towards winter, a season of death and renewal as well as other celebrations that connect in some way to death.

 

This was our eighth Death Cafe (our fifth time doing it online using Zoom). Similar numbers to July meant we split into two groups, and I spent some time in both groups. We kept the same format as previous groups, having a break part way through.

 

Thank you to those who fed back from this Death Cafe (full details below); I appreciate people taking the time to do this and always take the time to sit with what comes back from people in response to the space we create together.

 

I think what came across for me in the feedback is something that never ceases to amaze me which is that when we gather to talk about death, it inspires people in their life – it seems a curious paradox – something we might imagine to be difficult or morbid can mean to much to us. One comment really moved me in response to the question “If someone told you they were thinking of attending a Death Cafe what would you say to them?” someone answered “I'll come along with you, there is nothing to be frightened of and much that could be learned. Death is a short word, but the different ways of talking about it maybe life changing.” This for me really captures the heart of what it is to come to Death Cafe and be part of this community.

 

We are making some changes to our future Death Cafes and Kris D'Aout will be taking over for a time, so we are changing the contact details. I will continue to support Kris and others wanting to take on some of the work that is involved in supporting this way of connecting and these important dialogues. If you have something you’d like to add or talk about, then please get in touch: liverpooldeathcafe@gmail.com

 

The full feedback from the evaluation forms is as follows:

 

1.      Overall, how would you rate this event? 5 = excellent, 1 = poor:

 ·         5 rated it as 5

 ·         1 rates it as 4

 

Comments:

·         Always nice to have a kind, intelligent, friendly, sincere group of people

·         It was really helpful to hear of all the different ways that we take when we talk to others about dying, like the people who took part are the people who don't need to be at these meetings as much of others who shy away from the entire procedure.

·         Found this space and the people were just what I needed to bring new ideas and ways of thinking and an opportunity to share and notice my own experiences

 

2.      Would you say that attending this event affected your feelings about death and / or life?

·         5 said yes

·         1 said no

 

If Yes, please attempt to say how:

·         It made death and living more real

·         Brought me to a more joyful sense of living.  really noticed this the following morning and as I went to my dance session.  But also then noticed I could more easily tap into my sadness...so very interesting.  But through dancing it helped to shift things.  Also I was able to have more direct conversation with my Dad about funerals and what my Mum might want which was a big shift

·         it was very positive, thinking about how to live a 'good life' was something we discussed and i found that very useful

·         So helpful to be able to talk about death so openly, how we can take some of the fear out of what is such a taboo subject.

·         Focus on the important!

 

3.      How comfortable did you feel during the Death Cafe? 5 = very comfortable, 1 = very uncomfortable.

·         4 rated it as 5

·         1 rated it as 4

·         1 rated it as 3

 

Is there anything you can think of that would have made you feel more comfortable?

·         Not really

·         No nothing

·         no, thank you!

·         No, it is more my confidence in speaking that can hold me back, but this is improving as I have attended a few cafes now

 

4.      How well did the structure of the discussion at the Death Cafe work? 5 = very well 1 = not very well at all.

·         5 rated it as 5

·         1 rated it as 4

 

Suggestions for improvement:

·         Not really

·         No, but it is only as good as the willingness of the participants to share and listen.

·         No

 

5.      Overall, how would rate you the facilitation of the event? 5 = excellent, 1 = poor

·         5 rated it as 5

·         1 rated it as 4

 

Any suggestions for improvement:

·         Not really

·         None

·         no, it was great

 

I have taken the cake question out while this is online!

 

6.      Please choose 3 words which best describe your experience of Death Cafe:

·         Heart to heart conversations

·         Informative , comfortable, reassuring

·         Calm inspiring interesting

·         affirming, friendly, accepting

·         Thought-provoking, warm, enriched

·         Good Interesting Helpful

 

7.      If someone told you they were thinking of attending a Death Cafe what would you say to them?

·         Do it. You will have a high quality open conversitions with very nice and inteligent people

·         I'll come along with you, there is nothing to be frightened of and much that could be learned. Death is a short word, but the different ways of talking about it maybe life changing.

·         Go... you will be surprised  how alive it makes you feel

·         I would never have met those people if not here.  It felt a real opportunity for me. Much appreciation at this time

·         that i found it to be a safe, comfortable place, with no pressure to speak but plenty time to do so if one chose to. A very respectful space.

·         Do it, it is not at all as scary as it sounds,  we all need to get more comfortable talking about death

·         Do it.

 

8.      Do you have any other comments or things you think we should hear?

·         Not really

·         Perhaps sharing a story from someone who had been really changed by attending one of the meetings.

·         I would never have met those people if not here.  It felt a real opportunity for me. Much appreciation at this time

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