Summary for June 10, 2020 DC-Hillsborough

Hello everyone,

I hope you are staying well, physically and mentally. Thank you to those who joined the conversations during the June 10th Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H) – our third Zoom call! We packed it with information and learned new things! Using Zoom has changed our dynamic yet it also allowed some new people from far away places to join us!

There has been a marked increase in “Virtual Death Cafés” worldwide! This is not only due to the fact we can’t meet in person but also because more people are seriously contemplating their mortality and thus are more willing to discuss death and dying. Information about the next DC-H, plus others in our area, follows this key-points summary of our 06/10 meeting.


  • For those who had one handy, we lit candles then sat in silence for a minute to honor and remember the lives and deaths of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People Of Color). “We will change this world.”
  • Helpful resources/websites mentioned and promised to be included in this summary: The Five Wishes (Advance Directives document); Advance Directives (click on your state); Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Carolina; National Home Funeral Alliance; The Inspired Funeral (for ceremonies and rituals); VSED (Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking) per Compassion and Choices; Death With Dignity; Dying Right NC; Threshold Choir; Sanctuary at the Burrow, a conservation green burial ground near Pittsboro in Chatham County
  • We talked about creating, and those already in the works, a “Funeral Song List” for ourselves that can be included in our Five Wishes and/or other funeral planning paperwork. Here’s an article featuring Sue Kemple and The Last Soundtrack. It is (was?) anonline service to gather the music that has meaning for your life. The business weblink does not work nor did a search result anything active. Please send me info if you have a link that works!
  • Rituals for end-of-life and after death were discussed (see resources above). Thanks to Joe for the topic!
  • Death With Dignity laws were broached and thoughts shared about whether we would travel to another state to die when we wanted to, or even travel to another country to do so.
  • None of us had information immediately on hand when the subject came up about patients’ rights regarding the choice of VSED while a resident at a nursing home. I have found articles online, but! I always vet what I send you so want to read these sites’ info first. Either we will pick up this topic next time and/or I’ll email viable, informative links with the 07/08 DC-H reminder.  
  • During our DC-H, Neidra read a quote from Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”): “Death is something many of us are uncomfortable speaking about. But to die is to be human. And anything human is mentionable. And anything mentionable is manageable.” Anything mentionable is manageable. There’s comfort and inspiration in that guidance … it applies to today’s world’s issues.
  • “Alternate Endings: Six New Ways to Die in America” (a HBO documentary) “tells six stories of people nearing death and of family members of the recently deceased, who have chosen non-traditional end-of-life options and remembrances, from celebrations of life and living wakes, to green burials, extraterrestrial burials and more.” Thanks, Anne, for the reminder/suggestion!


Mark your calendars for the next DC-Hillsborough July 8th, 6pm-8pm, via Zoom meeting. I will email a reminder which will include *the Zoom link* 2-3 days prior. Other Death Cafés are occurring virtually too! Check’s:DEATH CAFE MEBANE is this WEDNESDAY 6/17 at 6pm.


The “officially approved” DC-Hillsborough 07/08 event listing is on at


If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page (search @deathcafehillsborough). July’s DC-H event will be created soon and posted.

See you there, fellow mortals! 



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