Summary for 05/13/2020: DC-Hillsborough NC

Hello everyone, I hope you are staying well, physically and mentally. Thank you to those who joined the conversations during the May 13th Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H) – our second Zoom call! We packed it with information and learned new things! Using Zoom has changed our dynamic yet it also allowed several new people to join us, including from Greensboro, Raleigh, and New York City! We are grateful for UMC allowing us to use their Zoom account (versus their “little house” where we normally meet in person). If you have not yet sent a few dollars to say thanks for last week, here is their website: and mailing address: United Methodist Church, Rev. Rich Greenway, 6407 Union Grove Church Road, Hillsborough, NC 27278. Thank you for thanking them. There has been a marked increase in “Virtual Death Cafés” worldwide! This is not only due to the fact we can’t meet in person but also because more people are seriously contemplating their mortality and thus are more willing to discuss death and dying. Information about the next DC-H, plus others in our area, follows this key-points summary of our 05/13 meeting. • We spoke of how COVID-19 has influenced our ideas and plans for medical forms such as DNRs (Do Not Resuscitate), Advance Directives, and MOST (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment). This Stony Brook University link (thank you, Sara!) will guide you to click on your state and answer questions to help physicians provide you with proper medical treatment, in case you need to go to the hospital for COVID-19 related symptoms. AND here’s another resource, “COVID-19 Advanced Directive Addendum: Documenting Your Preferences” • Helpful resources/websites mentioned and promised to be included in this summary: Aging With Dignity (thanks, Anne); The Five Wishes (Advance Directives document); Advance Directives (click on your state); Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Carolina and the National FCA site; North Carolina Will and Testament (if you live in another state, Google it using that state’s name) • Books about grief mentioned by our DC-H Zoom participants: “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis; “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” by Megan Devine; Dr. Alan Wolfelt has written several books on grief; here’s an online list I found: • Dear Consumer, this is an opportunity for you to take some action! (I just did this and it only took 2.5 minutes! Thanks to Sara for forwarding the following.) The federal government is listening to all of us who want to see the Funeral Rule amended! We need to have this rule updated to require all funeral homes to post their prices ONLINE so that we can shop quickly and find the information we need. Never has the importance of access to affordable and ethical funeral care been more relevant in the midst of this ongoing crisis. This is where YOU can help to convince the FTC to update this important consumer regulation. They have extended the deadline to submit comments to June 15, 2020. We recommend submitting those comments electronically to increase the likelihood they will be read. Simply click here and follow the instructions to leave your comments! It can be something as simple as: “Please update the Funeral Rule of 1984! American families deserve funeral home price information to be posted online.” And, if you’ve had a personal experience where your inability to find prices quickly and easily left you totally frustrated, now’s the time to tell the FTC. • During our DC-H, Neidra read some questions to help your loved ones feel more comfortable discussing anything death-related during this pandemic. They were excerpted from [this] full article written by Louise Hung, producer and co-writer for “Ask a Mortician.” Mark your calendars for the next DC-Hillsborough June 10th, 6pm-8pm, via Zoom meeting. I will email a reminder which will include *the Zoom link* 2-3 days prior. Other Death Cafés are occurring virtually too! *Sara’s: DEATH CAFE MEBANE on WEDNESDAY 5/20 Time: May 20, 2020 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada) Join Zoom Meeting Meeting ID: 895 9994 9639 If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page (search @deathcafehillsborough). June’s DC-H event will be created soon and posted. The “officially approved” DC-Hillsborough 06/10 event listing is on at PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE NEXT -- DEATH CAFÉ – Hillsborough VIA ZOOM! June 10, 2020 6:00 – 8:00PM Well, this is usually an in-person potluck -- so how about we bring our supper and favorite beverages (did someone say DESSERT?) to the Zoom meeting instead!?! We will eat and drink while talking about all-things-death, sharing stories and knowledge, and most definitely -- we will laugh! Registration, or RSVP, is not required. Just show up, and feel free to bring friends! See you there, fellow mortals! Neidra

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