Summary for 11/13/2019 DC-Hillsborough
Hello Death Positive People!
Thank you to those who came to the November 13th Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H) which included two new people adding to this Death Café’s conversations. Fantastic food too, folks – thank you! Information about the next DC-H, plus others in our area, is below. Hint: we’re skipping December due to the numerous holidays. First, a summary of key points we discussed, including links for your further exploration.
Whether they brought it with them or not, everyone shared an item(s) from a loved one and a meaningful story behind the object(s). Feedback on this idea was positive. Thank you for sharing your memories with us! Thank you also to those who filled in the “Death Café Evaluation Form,” per request, to begin the second year of DC-H. The vision is for this to be a Death Café you want to participate in, to have it be what you’d like to see. Since these were anonymous, here is some of the feedback: “It has helped me learn so many things and it has made me so much more aware.” “It reinforced how important it is to have a good open minded appreciation of death.” “I like the idea of a topic.” “I liked the sharing of the item from a dead loved one.” “… would like to do more of the personal conversations.” “… if folks had an opportunity to introduce conversation topics …” (maybe I am misunderstanding this one but I always make a point to ask if anyone has something they want to share.) Words shared from the “choose 3 words to best describe your experience of Death Café” section: informative (3 people relayed this), friendly, inviting, educational (2), supportive, fun (2), relaxing, interesting people, novel, comfortable, participatory for all.
Thank YOU all for your understanding and support this year as I struggled through many deaths close to me -- my mother died in May after a brief, unexpected (and bizarre) illness; two weeks after our separation, my ex killed themselves in August; my almost 20 year old cat said “it was time” so I let her go just last week; and then more long-time friends have died this year too. We all go through this yet I just wanted to share my gratitude for you.
Links related to some topics of we discussed:
- Raleigh’s Historic Oakwood Cemetery (which has a Green Burial section) celebrating 150 years in 2019, launched the Death Letter Project- North Carolina (what death means to you) http://historicoakwoodcemetery.org/death-letter-project.asp. They are releasing the letters for the public’s view each month on the 1st and 15th.
- CBS Sunday Morning 11/10: “With deepest sympathy – The complications of coping with grief.” “Dealing with death is simply part of living life.” https://modernloss.com/ Rebecca Soffer (co-founder) sees it not just a website, but as a movement built on shared, personal stories of grief from around the world, sometimes with an unexpected twist.
- “Mobituaries” podcasts were also mentioned (thanks, Sara!) stemming from the Sunday Morning show: https://www.mobituaries.com/
- Also as seen on CBS’ Sunday Morning about writing obituaries (thanks, Maryann!) https://www.cbsnews.com/news/obit-writers-deadly-serious-about-their-craft/
- “Co-create a collection of photos, memories, stories, and songs to celebrate someone you love. We turn it all into a box of beautifully printed cards.” At https://www.awesomebox.com/ (thanks, Dana!)
- Neidra mentioned https://legacybox.com/pages/how-it-works
- https://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2019/10/pittsboro-annual-death-faire-1030 and https://indyweek.com/news/northcarolina/death-positivity-movement-death-cafe-green-burial/
· For more information about the 4th annual Death Faire some of us attended and gave presentations at: https://abundancenc.org/event/death-faire-2019/ During our chat last Wednesday, several wonderful characteristics of the Faire were mentioned such as the “Phone of the Wind,” “The Grief Tent,” the kids tent, an interactive altar, casket photo booth, the keynote speaker Charles Eisenstein, and the “Before I Die” chalkboard wall (*see attached photo Neidra took at the end of the day).
- The song Neidra mentioned she’s adding to her “funeral song book” is “Into the West” sung by Annie Lennox: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoVaK2NXmJA
Other short videos or articles you may find of interest:
- A feature with our own Heather Hill! https://abc11.com/society/how-going-green-is-now-an-option-after-death/5102494/?fbclid=IwAR30ih1D9lMTcJtdAancrhCbOzVPpeud8tmdJadUin2v9KewdVzeZH4BVAs
- I found this posted on deathcafe.com when registering the next DC-H: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0009lr1
- A friend sent me this link: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/merry-cemetery?fbclid=IwAR2AJlC07KL_F6mTJyHO4yyGcIqiXMjffcdT6IJt4skEPYuju5ElCuaPSyM “ … in the town of Săpânţa, Romania, where at the Cimitirul Vesel or “Merry Cemetery,” over 800 wooden crosses bear the life stories, dirty details, and final moments of the bodies they mark. Displayed in bright, cheery pictures and annotated with limericks are the stories of almost everyone who has died of the town of Săpânţa.”
If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page (!) and stay updated. The “event” is posted there at https://www.facebook.com/events/572986643276807/ and will also be shared on the Hillsborough NC Community Info page about a week before 01/08/20.
PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE NEXT --
DEATH CAFÉ - HILLSBOROUGH
JANUARY 8, 2020 6:00 – 8:00PM
AT 903 ENO STREET (27278)
“Fellowship hall” sign on front
THIS IS A COMMUNITY POTLUCK! Please consider bringing a yummy dish to share. First-timers – we will feed you! You are also welcome to bring just what you feel like eating, such as a full ready-made meal for yourself. We will eat good food while talking about all-things-death, sharing stories and knowledge, and most definitely -- we will laugh! Registration, or RSVP, is not required. Just show up, and feel free to bring friends!