Summary for October 9, 2019 DC-Hillsborough

Hello Death Positive People! Thank you to those who joined in the October 9th Death Cafe – Hillsborough (DC-H) which included our *One Year Anniversary* complete with a delicious vegan chocolate cake from the local coop! We also had a drawing for one of three temporary tattoos (full facial Day of the Dead motif) that Neidra donated: Chinwe, Maryann, and Geri were the winners! There were three new people adding to this Death Cafe’s conversations. Fantastic! Spread the word! Information about the next DC-H, plus others in our area, is below. First, a summary of key points we discussed, including links for your further exploration. • Gratitude was expressed for Alex Trebek, 35 years long host of the show Jeopardy!, for sharing in an interview that he is not afraid of dying. It really helps people to hear this from a celebrity. • Neidra read from the Death With Dignity annual report that 70 million Americans now have access to a death with dignity law in 2019. They continue to support NC’s grassroots organization Dying Right North Carolina as Ed Tiryakian, Executive Director, and other advocates continue to meet with our legislators. • Hank gave us the good news that the regional chapters of the FCA (Funeral Consumers Alliance) in NC voted to become one working entity. The acronym will be changed to FCA-NC the first of 2020. Currently, you may find helpful funeral consumer information at FCA-Piedmont’s He also mentioned “funeral myths” – check out • Anne and Sara shared some of their experiences at the previous weekend’s biannual NHFA (National Home Funeral Alliance, conference, including how to improve home funeral rituals, tips for writing obituaries, and ideas on how to write condolence letters. • Other topics discussed and their links: The Conversation Project (, The Five Wishes (, Advance Directives for NC (pdf: file:///C:/Users/Owner/Desktop/EOLD/Forms/NC%20Advance%20Directive%20Form.pdf) • Another resource mentioned for how to start the conversation about death and dying: • Both of them being End Of Life Doulas, Dana spoke to us about Soul Midwifery, and Laura shared the challenges in choosing terms retirees found “acceptable” when addressing the concept of a “When I Die” writing wall. • Linda told us about the Neptune Memorial Reef. Cremated remains are mixed with cement and formed into placements that are added to the underwater memorial. The reef is open to the public so families can dive down and visit their loved ones on the sea bottom. • Joshua shared a touching experience while assisting in a green burial that included mentioning an all-natural embalming (ecobalming) product called “Enigma.” From the manufacturer’s website: “These chemicals are a safe, effective, non-toxic, non-hazardous alternative to traditional toxic/formaldehyde embalming chemicals. Based on a complex mix of essential plant-based oils in a near-anhydrous carrier, ENIGMA chemicals deliver significant chemostasis effects with good cosmetic/restorative results, excellent temporary sanitation and acceptable temporary preservation. The full line of ENIGMA products are the only preparation products certified by the Green Burial Council.” • Megan told us about Dark Tourist on Netflix, a documentary series about the phenomenon of dark tourism. • An HBO documentary, Alternate Endings, Six New Ways to Die in America offers a fascinating look at the varied ways Americans are choosing to both find meaning and celebrate life as it comes to an end. The film will be shown in February, 2020, at the Seymour Center in Chapel Hill, hosted by the Department of Aging. • And between Linda and Sara, a book title was figured out and remembered, Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer by Heather Lende. “As the obituary writer in a spectacularly beautiful but often dangerous spit of land in Alaska, Heather Lende knows something about last words and lives well lived. Now she’s distilled what she’s learned about how to live a more exhilarating and meaningful life into three words: find the good. It’s that simple--and that hard.” Upcoming Event! The 4th Annual Death Faire in Pittsboro, NC, is happening in a couple of weeks! November 1 (6-8pm) keynote by Charles Eisenstein and a full day of festivities and learning on Saturday November 2 (12-6pm). {See attached schedule!} “This is an actual fair … an attempt at changing our culture around death, dying, and ultimately living well. There’s a little something for everyone! Workshops. Vendors. DED Talks. Kid’s Activities. Interactive Altar. Meditation. Fire Spinning. Live music. Food trucks. Cash Bar. Candles everywhere. Music. Dance and celebrate. This does not have to be a deep dive into the darkest corners of your soul. But if you want to go there, we welcome you! Come curious. Leave with peace of mind.” Our own Anne Weston ( is providing a workshop on Advance Directives; Neidra Clark (End Of Life Doula, will be presenting a workshop on Creating A Legacy Project. Event info and tickets: More upcoming Death Cafes in our area: In Mebane, Wednesday, October 23, 6:00 – 8:00pm at Catrina's Tequila and Taco Bar. In Raleigh, Wednesday, October 30, 6:30 – 8:30pm at Renaissance Funeral Home, 7615 Six Forks Rd. Raleigh, NC 27615. If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page and stay updated. The “event” is posted there at and will also be posted on the Hillsborough NC Community Info page about a week before 11/13. Another (different) DC-Hillsborough event listing is on at PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE NEXT -- DEATH CAFÉ - HILLSBOROUGH NOVEMBER 13, 2019 6:00 – 8:00PM AT 903 ENO STREET (27278) “Fellowship hall” sign on front THIS IS A COMMUNITY POTLUCK! Please consider bringing a yummy dish to share. First-timers – we will feed you! You are also welcome to bring just what you feel like eating, such as a full ready-made meal for yourself. We will eat good food while talking about all-things-death, sharing stories and knowledge, and most definitely -- we will laugh! Registration, or RSVP, is not required. Just show up, and feel free to bring friends! See you there, mortals! Neidra

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