Summary for 07/10/19 DC-Hillsborough

Hello Death Positive People!

Thank you to those who joined in the July 10th Death Café – Hillsborough (DC-H)! Yummy food, by the way (Sara’s lemon meringue pie was a special treat! Her mother’s recipe.) – thank you! There were six new people adding to the conversations. Fantastic! Spread the word! Information about the next DC-H, plus others, is below. First, a brief summary of key points we discussed, including links for further information.  

  • Thank you to Sara for broaching the topic of my mother’s death that occurred in May. Naturally it has affected me deeply. A lot was learned during her End Of Life journey and, since, even more insight and knowledge has been gained. When we share our experiences and stories, we can learn from each other. Thanks to all of you for moving forward with me.  
  • A few of us attended the educational presentation on VSED: Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking on June 27 at the Passmore Center in Hillsborough, and shared what we learned with the group (Laurie, thanks for filling in my gaps!). VSED is a thoughtful and intentional decision to cease all nutrition and hydration, with the full understanding that the eventual outcome is death. For more information:
  • Conversation Skills You Need for a Successful End-of Life Discussion, podcast by Dr. Karen Wyatt via End of Life University. Neidra shared some of the suggestions.   Check out EOLU at
  • Another resource for how to start the conversation:
  • Sara shared two books: The Art of Dying Well by Katy Butler, and It’s OK to Die by Dr. Monica Williams-Murphy and Kristian Murphy. The website includes info and resources:  She also made sure we knew about the Netflix series “Casketeers”!
  • Shannon told us about which she said is a good Q&A site.
  • Karen shared an excellent quote of hers: “We need to doula people from cradle to grave.”
  • Neidra read some of the “64 of the best things to say to a griever” … and the worst Links for you folks who wanted to read them all! We had some live-ly interactions about many of these!
  • She also shared that the 4th Annual Death Faire in Pittsboro NC is happening November 2, with a keynote by Charles Eisenstein the evening before. “This is an actual fair … an attempt at changing our culture around death, dying, and ultimately living well. There’s a little something for everyone!  Workshops.  Vendors.  DED Talks.  Kid’s Activities.  Interactive Altar.  Meditation.  Fire Spinning.  Live music.  Food trucks.  Cash Bar.  Candles everywhere.  Music. Dance and celebrate.  This does not have to be a deep dive into the darkest corners of your soul.  But if you want to go there, we welcome you! Come curious.  Leave with peace of mind.”   Neidra will be presenting a DED Talk/workshop on Creating A Legacy Project. Event info and tickets:
  • Consider becoming a member of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of the Piedmont. $25 donation provides you a lifetime membership!  “The mission of Funeral Consumers Alliance is to work together as informed consumers for after-death arrangements that embrace our needs, preferences and rights.”

More upcoming Death Cafes in our area: In Mebane, Wednesday, July 31st (5 year anniversary celebration too!), 6:00 – 8:00pm at Catrina's Tequila and Taco Bar. In Raleigh, Wednesday, August 7th 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Renaissance Funeral Home, 7615 Six Forks Rd. Raleigh, NC 27615. 

If you are on Facebook, please “like” the Death Café-Hillsborough page and stay updated. The “event” is posted there at and also is posted on the Hillsborough NC Community Info page.


Another (different) DC-Hillsborough event listing is on at




AUGUST 14, 2019   6:00 – 8:00PM

AT 903 ENO STREET (27278)

“Fellowship hall” sign on front


THIS IS A COMMUNITY POTLUCK! Please consider bringing a yummy dish to share. You are also welcome to bring just what you feel like eating, such as a full ready-made meal for yourself. We will eat good food while talking about death, share stories and knowledge, and most definitely -- we will laugh! Registration, or RSVP, is not required. Just show up, and feel free to bring friends!



See you there, mortals! 


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