Death Cafe Carlisle Springs Forward
A write up of Death Cafe Carlisle
It is nearly a year since we had our first meeting and this little cafe has gone from strength to strength.
This meeting had 11 people from all walks of life interested in all walks of death. Funeral directors, local coroners court, solicitors, celebrants, a local poet and recently bereaved. Eclectic begins to cover our band.
We always state that it is not a support group but often experiencing a close death triggers thoughts of mortality in ones own life. I think it's reall important to remember the responsibility to keep people safe in the discussions. As a host you don't often know about the people visiting so it is important to listen and look really attentively. making sure that people look as comfortable as they can and offer spaces for inclusion but not put them on the spot to speak.
We had a question about embalming come up, it often does. When this happened I checked in with the group that everyone was comfortable with this being discussed as I had realised someone was recently bereaved. All agreed and it was fascinating as our funeral director visitor took us through the process. It does sound grim but we did have some funny moments along the way as we considered if it would be part of our own wishlist! Death is part of life and the fact that we hoot with laughter and had some quiet space too - moments where people just thought. Lasy year as a novice host i would have been really concerned that the space meant disengagement - now know it is just space. Left alone the space soon bubbles again.
I love facilitating this Death Cafe and as part of my preparation for each event I always thank Jon Underwood for bringing this to us. This year we have been in our local paper as a front page story when we launched, been interviewed for a feature piece on ITV Border.
As part of Dying Matters week I am taking Death Cafe Carlisle on tour to Eden Valley Hospice and Cumberland infirmary invited by Bereavement Services so the conversations here in Carlisle are definitely growing. We are also working with partners to create a Morbid Curiosity Evening - this includes forensics and exhibits and all kinds of things, all triggered by someone attending this Death Cafe.
I hope that we continue to grow and help people to set up their own Death Cafes , 2 others so far!!