Then I split with my Girlfriend and 6 weeks later she hung herself leaving me a message ' I get it you don't give a fuck about me That was nearly a year ago and since that moment death and suicide follow me ,always in my thoughts .Even as I'm writing I had just tied a noose round my neck just to see how far I can take it ...and I know I will at some point complete.

I am tired of feeling Empty tired of reliving the day she died  ,tired of feeling I don't belong ,tired of being expected to 'look forward to the happy times.Tired of being told that suicide is selfish..yes it may be but who gives a fuck when your dead.Life is temporary and at the end of the day we all die..What is selfish is people expecting me to carry on living in pain just so my death doesn't make them.feel sad or guilty or empty .Don't be sad for me ,don't cry no tears this is what I long for .This is my choice .I'm tired so tired of this life 

.What mugs we truly are ...we work and toil and suffer for moments of happiness ,and that's all they are ..moments ...And at the end of the day the only thing permanent is death.Life is full of rules ,full of dissapointment full of sadness full of wickedness  .Least death is honest least death doesn't give you false promises least death there is only 1 rule ..you have to be dead to be dead !!!