To Jonnathan

Hi, it's been over 2 years since you took your life. I have known you for long, shit I've known you forever Jay. I have lived in this gory town with you for so long that every swing and store here reminds me of the memories we shared together. I miss you, it took me long to process that you were gone. 2 years long to figure out just how I missed you and what you meant to me. We were door-to door neighbours, your mum treated me as her own daughter and made us pancakes before school. I'm angry that you left us all, I'm heartbroken about it. I'll always remember your smile,ah I'd give up everything just to see that smile again. I was confused and disheartened when I first heard the news of your passing, I'm sorry I wasn't there to bid you farewell at your funeral Jay. I couldn't bring myself to see you, with your neck swollen and dislocated. I visit auntie every now and then, she still makes those amazing cupcakes with your favorite choclate ganache frosting. Hey, do you remember how we used to play pirates? You never made an excellent pirate but I let you win. I know how strongly you would've disagreed if you were her. Jay your mum still stays up and thinks about why you did it. You left nothing behind, nothing for the people who loved you. I just wish that I met you in the elevator, you would've told me what's been going on with instead of brushing it off with a smile. I know i failed as a friend, I know I did nothing to help you with whatever was troubling you.I guess I'll never know. Here's to you, Jay. An extraordinary man, an amazing friend and the kindest soul to have walked this earth. I love you buddy, till we meet again.