My tears froze, i could not feel anything but a void in my soul which seemed never to be filled. and then i remember telling myself, he is worth of all the pain and void i was feeling.

I am 23 and I have 2 younger siblings and my mother. as he was taking his last few breaths, i could literary feel the pressure building in my chest. but seeing the rest of my family through blurred eyes, gave me strength to stay there and take it all in. 

Death is something that is inevitable, which is something we all hear all the time, but getting through the pain it causes, the feeling of loss, the feeling of nothingness is challenging. It has been 110 days since I was with my father last a one thing, I have realized is that you lose a person in a moment but their loss is felt over a period of time. Grieving is a process and it needs to be done right. Not saying there is a fundamental way of going about what to feel and what not to feel, nevertheless it is necessary that we don’t suppress our emotions and try to channel them elsewhere. I remember reading somewhere that if you don’t heal properly, you tend to bleed on the ones who dint wound you. So feel the loss and feel all the pain you can possibly feel, because it’s okay to feel that way.