The last few moments with my father

Posted by Bansree04

Losing my hurt how a rock cracks open. The silence of my heart breaking was deafening. The pain was numbing and my breathe was shallow. But then there came a voice from within that said, 'this is for the best', I shattered as I realize how true it was. i did the most selfless thing in that moment, I let him go...i set him free, free to be in a better place where there was no pain, there was no suffering, there was no.. cancer. in that moment, he did the most selfless thing too, he freed me from the constant fear of losing him. 

My tears froze, i could not feel anything but a void in my soul which seemed never to be filled. and then i remember telling myself, he is worth of all the pain and void i was feeling.

I am 23 and I have 2 younger siblings and my mother. as he was taking his last few breaths, i could literary feel the pressure building in my chest. but seeing the rest of my family through blurred eyes, gave me strength to stay there and take it all in. 

Death is something that is inevitable, which is something we all hear all the time, but getting through the pain it causes, the feeling of loss, the feeling of nothingness is challenging. It has been 110 days since I was with my father last a one thing, I have realized is that you lose a person in a moment but their loss is felt over a period of time. Grieving is a process and it needs to be done right. Not saying there is a fundamental way of going about what to feel and what not to feel, nevertheless it is necessary that we don’t suppress our emotions and try to channel them elsewhere. I remember reading somewhere that if you don’t heal properly, you tend to bleed on the ones who dint wound you. So feel the loss and feel all the pain you can possibly feel, because it’s okay to feel that way. 


I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing better. I would love to talk if you're up for it. 702 970-6025

Posted by Stephanie V

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