There were recounts of near-death experiences and in one particular recount, the subject had been unconscious for 3 days, throwing his family into a distraught state so much so that, as he said, after he regained consciousness, his sister would just look at him and burst into tears and for at least a month after the frightening episode, his family wouldn't let him out of their sight as he had an escort e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e he went and if he stayed one second longer than necessary in the bathroom, the knocks would come raining down, what are you still doing? Haven't you finished? This caused a round of laughter at the table.

Someone said, it's important to always inform family members about one's whereabouts so that if it happens, at least they would have a starting point to look. Everyone seemed to be in solemn agreement that it could happen at any time, 'it' being death.

She is a Reverend who's curiosity and willingness to learn from others drew her to attend the meeting. She tells the small group gathered at the table, this year, they would have been married for 20 years, they talk about death; if any one of them should die before the other, he prays it will be him because he knows she will do a great job of taking care of the kids, her husband told her. If he dies first, she'll remain a widow for the rest of her life, she tells him. He is in strong opposition, so you will keep your private parts to yourself and not enjoy your life? This caused a round of laughter at the table.

The conversation reached an exciting peak when money got into the equation, someone said, happiness is not about money; another's comeback was, 'how do you attain happiness without money?' The jury is still out.

Merely talking about money definitely seemed to make the atmosphere happier, unfortunately, the debate had to be short cut, our time was up.

The fourth edition of Death Café in Lagos, Nigeria was held on Sunday, 8th October. We talked about death and dying without a crisis context which is what Death Café is about.

Special thank you to everyone who was able to make it out to Yaba on Sunday and engaged fully with no-holds-barred. Thank you for also granting permission to recount some of your contributions to the conversation.

Until the next Death Café session, keep living, don't exist.

Cheers,

Hope

(for the Death Café  Lagos Team)