What is your view on 'How to Die a Good Death'?

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What is your view on 'How to Die a Good Death'? Can one die a good death? What would you think of as a 'good' death and how would it differ from a death that was 'not good'?Can a death ever be 'good'? I am preparing for a panel discussion and would appreciate hearing your views.

Email me at josefine.speyer@gmail.com or reply below. Thank you!
If you are happy to be quoted, let me know. Not saying that I will use quotes, but in case I want to, give me your first name, age and profession and town and country.

Comments

a good death is one like my mum's friend's hubby, he was in his 70s had chest pains after taking the dog out for a walk, that night they went to bed, she woke up next day and he was dead, gone in his sleep with no pain, no horrible nrsing homes, no being like a baby at the end of your life or horrible pain. A bad death involves pain and indignity, or like my dad with dementia being like a baby being fed and changed like a baby and being totally and absolutely helpless and even in nappies again, thats a bad death. It's not about years of life for me but quality of life and keeping out of a nursing home, I've worked in such places and if I was going to end up in one I'd take all my pills and go rather than drag on such indignity.

Posted by Ali

Death Cafe in Montreal facilitator

How I wish every one could have a "good death"! My mother, I believe, had a good death thanks to hospice care and my dad too thanks to my mother's insistence that he have hospice at home. Definition of a good death for me: achieving peace and comfort as death approaches, acceptance and even welcome of death.

Posted by Kit

correspondent from the dark side

How to die a good death? I'm doing that right now. I have created a virtual hospice for myself. I am in perfect health so it's easy to feel good. But there is deeply alive peace in my heart when I realize every act done with total presence is sacred.
In that, there is no time. I am already peaceful. Dead to anxiety, fear or longing.It's a beautiful discovery.

Posted by eve eliot

A good death

My mother in law recently died at the age of 91 in N Ireland. She had been in a nursing home for 3 years, was slowly losing her memory, however she was content and when we visited (a couple of times a year from Canada) she was usually in good form. We would have fairly nonsensical conversations but she seemed happy enough.

She had few physical ailments but in August she stopped eating and the family decided to discontinue hydration as well. The family there visited her every day and she slowly slipped into greater periods of semi or unconsciousness. The nursing home staff cared for her kindly.

She finally slipped away on September 11th. Although this extended period was a bit stressful on the family, she herself seemed peaceful and comfortable. I think this was a good death. No anxiety, pain or emotional anguish, just a gentle letting go.

Barbara Swanston

Posted by Barbara Swanston

Like a good birth...

For me, what constitutes a good death is a very personal matter. But essentially I think it's a death where your wishes are respected (and you have had chance to consider and articulate these) with an acknowledgement that these wishes may change as the process develops. Very like a good birth for the mother.

Posted by Ginny Koppenhol