Some confusion re:guidelines

Posted by SLOcountyDC on Jan. 30, 2018, 9:14 a.m. 4 comments

Good morning!

my name is Caitlin and I’m hoping to start a Death Cafe in San Luis Obispo county, CA. I’m a bit hazy though on the guidelines regarding the dissemination of info and materials. I’ve sort of been canvassing folks in my area to get a sense of what they would like from a group like this and aside from having a safe and welcoming space to talk about death and dying, they all were interested in getting information on their options for disposition (cremation, burial practices, eco-burials, etc) as well as reading books regarding death/dying/grief. Is that not appropriate under the DC guidelines? I very much want to “do this the right way” so some clarification would be much appreciate!

thank you all for your wonderful work!



Facilitator/Charlotte Death Cafe

I do have resources available for folks if they desire to take them....bibliography,a poem or two,website listing but nothing that specifically markets anyone,service or organization.
I just have them on a table for them to pick up if they choose.
Very low key. I may mention that they are available at the beginning when going over a few preliminaries.

Posted by Gaye Dimmick

Hi there, I have been facilitating my Death Cafe since December 2015 and qualified at that time too in funeral celebrancy having been a wedding celebrant some 3 years previously. I don't "sell my wares" not only because of the guidelines but also because the DC is not about me. The rules laid down by the DC makes it so very simple to enjoy discussions that are spontaneous and not limited in any way. I don't deny it if it comes in the conversation that I'm a celebrant especially as I am in a small community and most participants will already know or might be curious about my work. But as the conversation is about death and dying, it's not been a problem to avoid talking about me. You'll see when you do more and more events that conversations are easier every time as you gain confidence in facilitating and holding the space! Good luck!

Posted by MallorcaDeathCafe

Hi Caitlin although you have been canvassing people about what they want, the Death Cafe discussion is always spontaneous and arises at the actual time of the DC. If you want to have speakers about topics around death and dying this is fine but should not be called a Death Cafe which is always a non directed discussion. Sometimes people have a talk before or after a Death Cafe. Thanks for asking the question and please contact us again of you need more clarification.

Posted by Susan Barsky Reid

Thank you!

Thank you Susan! This definitely helps. I believe I just wanted to know if it would be ok to compile resources for participants in case someone was seeking a particular answer of perhaps books on grief or death customs from around the world for example. I certainly wouldn't have set topics or guest speakers at a Death Café event; I love that the heart of the café is the openness of just talking and active listening. It's wonderful :)

There should be no problem with compiling resources although I have never ceased being surprised at what the other attendees know about all sorts of stuff.

Posted by Caitlin

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