The 3rd Death Cafe Warkworth
A write up of Death Cafe Warkworth
By NZDeathling
This Death Cafe was held it at a local retirement centre, Summerset Village, the first time we have done this and so we were not sure what the response would be. The manager of the facility was dead keen (pun intended) and supported the event by placing posters around the walls and advertising in their newsletter. We adhered to the Death Cafe rule of no agenda, but did have one of the facillitators with social work background in case the discussion involved issues around getting affairs in order which proved to be a great move.
Invitations went out to the wider community but attracted mostly people living in the village. In total 32 people came to this Death Cafe, a huge success in terms of numbers but also in the level of engagement. The average age was, as expected around late 70s. Yes, hearing impairment was an issue compounded by building works next door but this did not deter the conversation which was lively and meaningful.
A few of the group members came as husband and wife partners, but it became apparent quite quickly that many who came alone were widowers/widows. A fairly brave move perhaps as some of these people shared their stories of grief and loss. There were tears, but also laughs and beautiful memories. Many questions were asked around the difference between advanced directives and advanced care plans, POA, funeral planning and options for caskets, and the pros and cons of embalming. Some talked about near death experiences, one man describing his as "walking up a tree-lined avenue" which people said was comforting to contemplate.
We dished out very thin slivers of rich chocolate cake (next time I'll order two) donated by a local caterer, and coffees were delivered by the on-site cafe.
After an hour and a half people started to drift out of the room, which I expect had more to do with wanting to attend the next activity (line dancing) or perhaps being tired rather than feeling challenged or uncomfortable as the general feedback was positive.
On reflection a bigger room, and a bigger cake are needed, but I would also like to invite residents of the hospital level care facility to attend as well.
So if you are considering running a Death Care in a retirement village or aged-care facility I say hold your assumptions in check and go for it.