Death Cafe - Millerton, NY
A write up of Death Cafe - Millerton, NY
By ljoy
Death Cafe Millerton, NY
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Death Cafe - Millerton, #4 was held at Irving Farm Coffee House. Tonight our Death Cafe community consisted of 23 guests. A mixed crowd - male and female, young and not so young, local and some from as far away as Poughkeepsie, NY, Cornwall, CT and Worcester, MA. There were new faces, repeat guests and several "regulars". Each had their own personal reason for attending and all seemed ready and willing to share in the interesting conversation and delicious cake. We were delighted to see everyone.
Death Cafe - Millerton, NY has tried to be consistent in following a format, while continually tweaking events, based on the comments and suggestions from the evaluations. Each meeting has been a little different, generating its own momentum and, according to the evaluations, have been quite successful and valuable to the attendees.
Our hope is
- to create a cozy, safe and inviting space that encourages people to get to know each other and share their thoughts and feelings about the end of life.
- to offer small intimate table groups that allow everyone an opportunity to speak, a chance to be heard, and time to ask questions or share stories.
- for respect, for all ideas, in a neutral / non-judgmental environment
- that our guests leave with something of value to them... be that comfort, understanding, relief, sharing, joy, fellowship, cake and a chance to discuss death and end of life issues.
The 4 candle-lit tables, each sat 5-6 guests. Name tags and sign in sheets were on each table and guests chose where they wanted to sit. This sign in/ meet and greet time seems to break the ice nicely.
Here are some words, used by attendees, to describe their Death Cafe experience
comforting friendly stimulating commonality welcoming
enlightening open helpful fulfilling forward thinking
relaxed calm sharing caring supportive
inviting honest sensitive liberating meaningful
community safe
Suzanne welcomed everyone at 6:40 pm and thanked everyone for coming out and participating . After a brief overview, a bit of background about the history of the Death Cafe, introductions were made around the room.
The topic/task of the evening PART A.....
Write down on a piece of paper, 3 words that come to mind when you hear the words DEATH and DYING. (note paper and pens on the tables). This was thought provoking and brought up personal beliefs, cultural/religious differences etc.
PART B of the question wanted to know
WHY we chose the 3 words. WHERE they came from. WHAT else was attached to those word and if anyone, or any event had shaped those opinions
....a few things heard during the small table discussion...
It was a privilege being with someone at that time of their life
helping to create a space of acceptance and grace for someone at the end
she lived one day at a time
death can be a pathway to life
wanting to not be afraid
hearing others talk about death was comforting in a way.
During the Group Share, we bring our chairs and all come to a circle. Everyone is offered a moment to share. This is very powerful. Nearly everyone participated.
....from the Group Share
it is THE END
hate losing anyone - there is so much sadness
tell your kids....where you have written down all your end of life wishes so when they are ready they will know where to find them
green burials
stay focused and in the moment
be there to validate what those at the end of their life are going through
you realize how precious life is
closure
There was time for Q&A and networking and mingling.
Evaluations were circulated for completion.
Once again our evaluations were helpful and suggest that the Death Cafe-Millerton NY is working. With the winter months upon us we have decided to wait until March for our next gathering. We are hoping to continue at Irving Farm.
Will we see you there? Thank you for attending.
a THURSDAY in MARCH, 2014 STAY TUNED for more details
860 605 0330 to reserve your space.