The first Death Cafe Bishop's Stortford
A write up of Death Cafe Bishop's Stortford
"I'm not sure about the name"
"I don't like the skull on the teacup"
"But I'm not bereaved..."
I'll admit it, I was nervous.
In all honesty I had had many positive comments as I tried to spread the word about Death Cafe Bishop's Stortford but it is human (well it is certainly Nicola) to focus on the negative and expect a disaster.
'Plan for the worst, hope for the best' is something of a motto for me and in this instance my hope was well founded.
12 of us gathered in the lovely garden room of Great Hadham Golf Club, the evening began with much cooing over, and paparazzi-esque photo taking of my beautiful cake. As the tea was poured and the cake dished out we had to get down to the reason we were all there. We had to talk about death.
I'd been sent about 4 questions before the event and I looked at the sheet in my hand and thought 'how will this fill 2 hours?!' but I need not have worried.
Over the course of the 2 hours we batted around our ideas around how to talk to children about death, whether children should be part of funerals, the language we use when discussing death, faith vs atheism and their effects on bereavement, funerals (pre-planning, meeting wishes of deceased, meeting your own wishes, celebration of life vs memorial of death), organ donation, talking about prognosis in the terminally ill, facing our mortality as parents, whether funerals are for the bereaved or the deceased, resolving conflict between bereaved parties, the image of the funeral director and the concept of appropriateness and so much more that I can't even recall.
Everyone got involved in the discussions, we ranged from 25 to 80, we included those of faith and those without as well as those in between, we had health professionals, funeral professionals, police officers and preachers and absolutely everyone brought something of value to the discussions.
The two hours flew by and in the end I had to intervene and wrap things up.
And the thing that has thrilled me the most is that more than one person has told me that they have gone away from the Death Cafe and started up fresh conversations about death with people who didn't attend.
I'm so grateful to those who attended and for the great feedback I've received. I need to thank my ever supportive employers, DC Poulton & Sons Funeral Directors for having faith in me to represent them at this event and for financially supporting it, Dani and all of the wonderful staff at Great Hadham Golf Club for being the ever impeccable hosts and Corrinne's Cupcakes of Bishop's Stortford for an attention grabbing and delicious cake.
Now, who fancies the next one?!