Oxfordshire Death Cafes 2013
A write up of Death Cafe Summertown, Oxford
By Joan @Oxbel
‘It was great to share time and views with others and gain new support ideas and strategies to help others’ Death Cafe participant
Oxfordshire Befriending for Life (OxBEL ) marked Dying Matters week 2013 with three death cafes aimed at encouraging ordinary people, going about their everyday lives, to spend a little time thinking and talking about death, dying and life.
Most people were surprised at how relaxed and comfortable they felt chatting about the issues that sprang to mind when they started reflecting on death and dying. They were also surprised at how much humour and laughter there was.
Several people did say they found the title ’Death Cafe’ too flippant and confrontational and we tried to be sensitive to this. Many however felt that the openness of the title grabbed their attention and gave permission for very honest, safe and direct conversations.
Some feedback:
‘Really interesting and thought provoking’, ‘More please’ ‘I would like to attend a death cafe again’ ‘A very good experience’
‘Very pleased I came. I feel that it is a shame that the whole topic is so taboo. Well done on bringing about open discussion & I hope the whole movement really grows.’
The Death Cafes certainly started people talking animatedly about death and dying and we hope they will keep talking to friends and family and the people they meet. The ripple effects of the death cafes should benefit a wide range of end of life work and dialogue around Oxfordshire.
The cafes were well attended with 10 people in Abingdon, 13 in Henley and 24 in Oxford. Participants ranged from early 30s to late 80s. The format was the same each time, informal, with roughly 5-6 people sitting at small tables ‘cafe style’ chatting and eating cake.
OxBEL publicised the events widely via social media, partner organisations’ mailing lists, the End of Life reference group, the local press and flyers and posters. This meant that large numbers of adults of all ages received the invitation to pause and think about death and dying which in itself must contribute to challenging the social taboos around this difficult subject.